USO All-Stars and Chuck Norris in Iraq

Saturday, March 15, 2008

I flipped through a friend’s April issue of Maxim magazine the other day and found that Scarlett Johansson has taken it upon herself to battle al-Qaeda!

Well, actually, it was more like she did a five-day United Service Organizations (USO) tour of Kuwait, but whatever. There wasn’t much to the article, really, but it did include the awesome timeline below, which puts the United States of America’s last 70 years of wars in the context of blonde bombshell pinups who entertained the troops. WTF.

USO All-Stars

So, to recap: Betty Grable = WWII, Marilyn Monroe = Korean War, Ann-Margret = Vietnam War, Christie Brinkley = Bosnian War, J-Lo and Scarlett Johansson = Dubya’s Endless War on Terra Terror.

Chuck Norris In a related story, I assume you all are now aware of the ‘cult of Chuck Norris’ among U.S. troops in Iraq. No? Well, Chuck Norris is the only WMD in Iraq. You may also want to visit Chuck Norris Facts.

Remember, kids: “Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.”

A few mentions:

  • The Cool Hunter is worth checking out for tons of photos of art, fashion, product design, architecture, and popular culture artifacts.
  • The little French schoolboy mascot of the Le Petit Écolier brand of chocolate-topped biscuits is creepy as hell. The cookies are really good for making s’mores though.
  • Last week I found a three-pronged/trifurcated (or perhaps just well-endowed) baby carrot in my refrigerator. It actually looks rather like a UK three-pin plug. I suspect its parents may be one of these genitalia-bearing carrots: male/female, male front/back, male/female.

Tomorrow we will have the release of the NCAA Tournament bracket, to the delight of office pools participants everywhere.

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