Halloween election and financial conspiracy theory

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Well, Halloween officially ended a few minutes ago. So, Happy Belated All Hallows’ Eve.

Barack Obama mask defeats John McCain mask With the November election imminent, I hope everyone has either voted or will be voting by Tuesday (well, unless you are a moron). If you’re an Oregon resident, hopefully you voted against all five measures put on the ballot (again) by racketeer Bill Sizemore, if only on general principle.

By the way, in a Halloween showdown, the Barack Obama mask defeated the John McCain mask in sales, 53% to 47%. See the Amazon Meter. Or check in with CNN’s Election Tracker: Candidate Polling or FiveThirtyEight.com for slightly more relevant popularity statistics. Except that we already know who’s going to win because “Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election Early.” I love The Onion.

What else? My “vampire electronics” post from last Halloween was kind of festive. Also, you might want to check out “The 100 most funny and unusual 404 error pages.” Many of my favorites are represented.

Wall Street during the bank panic in October 1907 All right, I’ll admit it: I’m a sucker for conspiracy theories. They’re fun to think about, even if I always remain skeptical. One particular conspiracy theory from a stock message board got me thinking the other day.

What if the current problems in the U.S. economy didn’t just happen to be caused by the compounding of . . . drumroll, please . . . bad economic policy, weak regulation, irresponsible deregulation, poor incentives, massively leveraged real estate investments, record numbers of home foreclosures, frozen credit markets, and Wall Street trying to create “virtual” wealth through pyramid schemes? What if this gradually escalating financial crisis was actually part of an elaborate U.S. government orchestration to purposefully guide the markets toward failure? Something like the Panic of 1907. Having seen clear weakness in the U.S. economy years ago, perhaps high-level government administrators and economic policymakers intended to create, unsustainably prop up and then eventually fail a heavily leveraged, complex financial system. Why? Because they knew this would ultimately strengthen the position of the United States and weaken the economies of foreign countries. This nefarious Hollywood plot would ensure that the U.S. remains a world power for decades to come. Here’s the crazy message board theory:

By crashing the US markets, you bring down markets worldwide. Since the US is the first in, they will likely be the first out. This strenthens (sic) the US dollar relative to other foreign currencies. Oil (the currency of the Middle East) is also devalued since other foreign markets have a diminished demand for oil due to their economic fallout. Weakened influence of oil producers in the world is largely desireable (sic) for the US since we are the largest consumer.

Weakened foreign economies and a stronger dollar moves multinationals back into the US. This helps drive the next age in US growth. Weaker foreign currencies relative to the US dollar decreases trade gaps.

Did I mention that that this will be a windfall for the banks that are left standing?

Don’t be surprised to find out this was a planned crash, using CDS to hasten the crash. This was done similar to what happened in the early 1900s.

Halloween Dick Cheney It’s crazy enough to kind of make sense, if you don’t really think about it. Such a scheme does assume a lot of competence from a reasonably well-organized government to pull it off. Ahem. Anyway, it’s an interesting fantasy.

I’m picturing an underground lair of undead Washington vampires who run the shadow government that controls the elected government. Mwahahaha!

Which reminds me: “Revolution ‘08” by Coldcut vs. TV Sheriff is this presidential election’s “World of Evil.” Also see a similar music video of cut-up political soundbites from the UK: “Revolution ‘02.”

Meanwhile, back in reality, many small and medium-sized companies with large amounts of debt may not be able to make it through the next year or two. Mmm, death spiral financing, anyone? Delicious.

I liked the way Bill Clinton explained some of the recent financial problems and political issues on the Late Show with David Letterman on September 22. Watch the videos of his appearance: part 1, part 2, part 3. I wish all public servants could communicate this clearly and effectively to the American people . . . in bed (just kidding).

Enjoy your pumpkin-head buckets full of candy.

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