Now, to counter the influenza epidemic/pandemic panic, below are eight days worth of mostly fun links.

Animation and awesomeness

These four short experimental films are great: “Noteboek” by Evelien Lohbeck.

If you were a Japanese salaryman, how would you put out a fire? Like this: The Weirdest Japanese Commercial Ever.

Also, WTF: “Mr Ando of the Woods” by Takashi TaniGuchi.

Remember those old Meow Mix commercials? How about Meow Mix Mario Paint? There are so many more uses/abuses of Mario Paint.

I might have posted this last year, but I found it again and it’s still good: Font Conference. It’s so fun to hate Comic Sans.

This is rad: Awesome Trials Bikers. It features my favorite Band of Horses song as well.

Music and David Lynch

I’m excited about this: “Pixies Announce Plans for Minotaur Box Set.” Even more so because they’re calling it Minotaur. I’ve yet to encounter a minotaur I didn’t like.

A mysterious photo of David Lynch, Danger Mouse and Mark Linkous of Sparklehorse appeared at dnots.com a few days ago. I guess this project wasn’t an April Fools’ joke after all. The page source says Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse Present Dark Night of the Soul. Hmm.

Unicorns, rainbows and ponies

Speaking of “sparklehorses” . . . earlier today, sparkly unicorns and rainbows invaded ESPN.com for a couple of hours, thanks to a naughty (fired?) web developer and JavaScript from Cornify.com. All you had to do was use the Konami Code (up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, enter) to activate the script and make glittery unicorn graphics cover your sporting news. Magical ESPN was fun.

On a related note, here are 50 glorious seconds of “Robot Chicken” love: Apocalypse Pony.

Animals, drugs and gardening

This is the Benjamin Button of marine life: “‘Immortal’ Jellyfish Swarm World’s Oceans.”

There are drugs in the water supply, yeah: “AP IMPACT: Tons of released drugs taint US water.”

I might go to this on Saturday, May 2: “OSU Extension Master Gardener 7th Annual Plant Sale and Clinic.” Perhaps we’ll find some plants (or advice) for the backyard.

(For the uninitiated: Stanley Donwood is perhaps most famous for producing a lot of Radiohead’s album and promotional art over the years. I love the guy. I received a Fast Track screenprint, inspired by Victorian engravings, for my birthday this year.)

This is cool: Lewis Carroll + scanning electron microscope + Photoshop = Alice’s Adventures in a Microscopic Wonderland.

In other book news: “The New Book Banning.” Here is an interesting quote from the article: “the federal government has now advised that children’s books published before 1985 should not be considered safe and may in many cases be unlawful to sell or distribute.” (Let us all accept that 1984 was a turning point.)

Why did I briefly have to use iTunes recently for the first time in ages? To acquire these two free items: NPR Music at SXSW 2009 Sampler and an episode of Watchmen: The Complete Motion Comic. And because I recently received an iTunes gift card for my birthday.

I have been keeping up with SXSW ‘09 this past week via Twitter, because a bunch of individuals I follow are currently attending in Austin, Texas.

Note: Despite having assisted clients with various social media efforts, I’d been avoiding active personal use of Twitter and Facebook for years because I feared they would be too addictive (and because I have an anti-establishment streak that makes me very skeptical of investing my own creative energy in anything that’s popular . . . perhaps until it becomes so popular that I can’t avoid it, if that makes a ridiculous kind of sense). And I guess I couldn’t hold out any longer. Now, after a week, the addiction has set in. I’m going to try to keep my Facebook/Twitter usage in check.

My Twitter profile is currently an experiment in ambiguous, sometimes nonsensical status updates (that I simply feed into Facebook and embed in this blog). I’m currently following over 60 people (including web developers, designers, artists, musicians, directors and actors). I think I’ve actually enjoyed Steve Buscemi’s Twitter updates the most (I still dislike using the word “tweets” for some reason). WeFollow, a user-powered Twitter directory, is the newest way to find people who use Twitter.

(Check out my previous posts about WebVisions for more social media/web technology talk.)

I guess I’ll end with this: Recently I stumbled upon another LOL site (specializing in WTF) called Picture Is Unrelated. Here’s a sample: In Present Day, You Eat McDonalds.

1. Pharm animals

Would you like some therapeutic drug milk? Here’s an interesting story about another controversial FDA approval: “F.D.A. Approves Drug From Gene-Altered Goats.” They are producing drugs in the milk of genetically engineered goats, rabbits, hamsters and more. The world is our playground. Animals are human life-saving machines! This is only the beginning. This is pharming! Read more news articles.

2. Television: “The Prisoner” remake, “Lost” and Towelie

AMC is currently remaking “The Prisoner,” starring Jim Caviezel and Ian McKellen. Huh. I wonder what impact that will have on Christopher Nolan’s desire to create a The Prisoner movie in the near future. Fail? Maybe Nolan will work on the Howard Hughes biopic he shelved five years ago when Scorsese made his own Hughes movie, The Aviator. Christian Bale as Number Six in the year 2015?

That reminds me. “Lost” seems quite inspired by Patrick McGoohan’s “The Prisoner” (and Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five) . . . and after the plane crash in the first episode of season four, “Heroes” looks like it could be turning into “Lost.” All they need to do now is time-travel into each other and merge into one show.

I have one final TV note. If you were a writer for “South Park,” how strong would the urge be to create a swimming-themed episode so you could pair Michael Phelps (including party bong) with Towelie the stoned talking towel? Before swim practices and meets, Towelie could say, “Don’t forget your towel.” Comedy gold, or maybe not?

3. Another Watchmen viral video

This new viral video was of interest to me: The Keene Act & YOU (1977). I hope the Watchmen movie ends up being as good as the promo stuff.

4. Weird art

Here are three creepy/interesting art pieces, some purchasable, from Gizmodo: skeleton Bio-Cycle, trilobite fossil clock and Triceracopter sculpture.

5. Human speech markup language

Scientists at IBM have developed a computerized voice that is almost indistinguishable from a human. The new technology is called “generating paralinguistic phenomena via markup in text-to-speech syntheses.”

6. NIN PowerPoint

This YouTube video is interesting. It’s a 15-minute presentation, titled “How Trent Reznor and NIN Represent the Future of the Music Business: A Case Study by Michael Masnick.” 280 slides in 15 minutes!

7. Caduceus Cellars

I don’t like wine, but I am contemplating trying to check out Maynard James Keenan’s winery, Caduceus Cellars and his Merkin Vineyards, when I’m in the Sedona, Arizona area next week. Keenan says:

This is a prime spot for vineyards. An untapped resource. But the master plan is to have the Merkin Vineyards Bed and Breakfast set up for when California drops in the ocean. Beach front property and the New Napa Valley. You got it.

See you in Arizona Bay?

It’s interesting how Obama ultimately got to keep his CrackBerry, I mean BlackBerry, in the White House . . . and how when the Obama administration arrived the White House was setup for email (and the modern world, in general) like it’s 1992: “E-Mail Outage Forces White House to Operate the Oldfangled Way.”

New network neutrality tools have arrived to help keep ISPs honest, thanks to Google. See these two articles: “Google lets users search for Internet blockers” and “Is Your ISP Throttling Your Internet Connection?” Can ISPs be stopped from filtering and throttling Internet access? Maybe with Google fighting broadband providers (somewhat indirectly) via Measurementlab.net. Wait, which side do we want to win? All our data are belong to Google, once again. It’s Comcastic!

I’ve been learning more about resveratrol (the red wine chemical, found in red grapes and peanuts), the French paradox, sirtuins (enzymes involved in the aging process) and Sirtris Pharmaceuticals. You know . . . good fats and bad fats, low-quality and high-quality foods, heart disease, dairy and meat, cancer prevention, the magic elixir of eternal life . . . blah blah blah.

About halfway through the Australian Open tournament I was thinking how cool it is that the top seven-ish men have become so competitive (see men’s draw). I was thinking that it’s no longer just Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal. Though I guess it still kind of is. However, Nadal’s semifinal match with Fernando Verdasco was amazing. I wonder if Nadal will have the energy to defeat Federer this weekend, following his five-hour, five-set win over Verdasco. In the past, Nadal has won two-thirds of his meetings with Federer.


I don’t really care who wins this year’s Super Bowl, or even care that much about the commercials (except for the 3D ads). I thought it would’ve been interesting if the Arizona Cardinals had been forced to defeat every other NFL bird mascot on their way to the Super Bowl championship: Seattle Seahawks (Week 17), Atlanta Falcons (Wild Card game), Philadelphia Eagles (NFC championship) and Baltimore Ravens (Super Bowl). But that can’t happen now because the Baltimore Ravens lost the Pittsburgh in the AFC championship. Oh wait, Bill Simmons already wrote about this on January 16:

The Alfred Hitchcock Angle for “Creepiest Angle Involving Birds”
So you have the Cardinals beating the Seahawks in Week 17, then the Falcons in Round 1, and now, potentially, the Eagles in the NFC title game. Meanwhile, if the Ravens topple the Steelers, then the Cardinals could potentially beat every other NFL team with a bird nickname during their improbable five-game winning streak to capture the Super Bowl, and if that’s not enough, birds took down Thursday’s U.S. Airways flight heading from New York to Charlotte … the city that’s home to the team Arizona beat five days ago in Round 2.

Tired of the stock market? In this delicious economy, there’s this: “9 Things You Should Do Instead of Buying Stocks” (from Scott Adams, creator of Dilbert).

I can has Engrish? Check out these lists: “100 Most Often Mispronounced Words and Phrases in English” and “100 Most Often Misspelled Words and Phrases in English.” So many pet peeves, so little time. Do not misunderestimate us!

I found the x-axis and data labels of this car-themed GraphJam chart really funny.

I’ve been waiting for weeks to upgrade spiral::notepad to WordPress 2.7.1, but its release is still delayed. Entire WordPress development community otherwise occupied? Perhaps distracted by lolcats? See the WordPress Roadmap for projected release dates for next versions.

(By the way, following my smartphones post from last month, I selected the Shadow model because I gave up on the Shadow II coming out in a timely fashion and also refused to splurge on a G1/iPhone touch-screen phone because of the annoying mandatory data plans.)

Here’s one important (and idiotic) tip for adjusting the Shadow’s volume: Make sure you remove the plastic screen protector (or at least the top quarter-inch) the factory-sealed phone comes with, because it covers the ear piece (speaker). This was not immediately obvious to me. I was just trying to keep my screen from getting scratched up right away. I didn’t realize that the thin plastic sticker could have such a significant effect. Just peeling off the plastic from the silver speaker slot dramatically improves in-call volume. However, if the volume still seems too low when maxed out, give the following a try.

Grab your T-Mobile Shadow phone and take it over to your Windows XP computer, then follow these steps:

• Download and install Microsoft ActiveSync 4.x
• Download and unzip Mobile Registry Editor
• Connect the T-Mobile Shadow to your PC via a mini-USB cable
• Quickly run through the initial ActiveSync configuration

(Note: With ActiveSync installed, you can freely and easily drag & drop photos, music, background images, ringtones and more between your Windows Mobile phone and computer.)

Now, to turn in-call volume up, open Mobile Registry Editor and navigate to this location in the registry:

HKEY_CURRENT_USER\ControlPanel\SoundCategories\InCall\InitVol

Set the new InitVol key to a value of “10″ or so (and be sure not to change anything else). The default InitVol value for my phone was “3,” which was rather quiet when trying to hear someone during a call. Seems like going any higher than “10″ for InitVol could blow the cell phone’s speaker (or make you deaf, unless you already are). After performing this registry mod, you will need to restart your device (power cycle) for it to take effect.

(One more thing: I’d recommend buying a snap-on clear/crystal hard case and screen protector for $10 on eBay, if you want to protect your T-Mobile Shadow. Get the two-piece case that slides open with the phone. It also includes a swivel belt clip.)

Hardy kiwis

Pomegranate season just started, but I want to mention another fall fruit instead. I recently learned that you can successfully grow kiwifruit in Oregon. Smooth-skinned hardy kiwis, that is. Native to northern Asia, hardy kiwis are about the size of large grapes (about one inch long) and are often sold by the trademark name Kiwi Berries or Baby Kiwis. The ones I’ve been eating were organically grown in Eugene, Oregon. The Oregonian covered this last month: “How do you use hardy kiwis? Just pop ‘em in your mouth.” Kiwi Berries are deliciously sweet. Their packaging says they “are a nutritional powerhouse and a healthy food source containing over 20 nutrients. Kiwi Berries contain twice the amount of Vitamin E, yet only 60% of the calories of an avocado; 5 times the Vitamin C of an orange; and more potassium than bananas. Kiwi Berries are high in fiber and rich in folic acid.”

Random trivia: The vines of the hardy kiwifruit possess a catnip-like smell which can attract cats. Maybe I can try growing some hardy kiwifruit vines in my backyard next year. Until then . . . nom nom nom.

All right, hold on. Let me channel my inner Comical Ali (AKA Mohammad Saeed al-Sahhaf, former Information Minister of Iraq). Some called him Baghdad Bob. Ready?

Here we go:

1. The stock market is not exhibiting symptoms of bipolar disorder.

That’s right. A violent 20% swing of the entire U.S. economy in two days is totally stable and healthy. Last Friday’s 1000-point intraday fluctuation of the Dow is in no way indicative of a panicked, whipsaw market. The fundamentals of the economy are still strong. This is not a recession. The problem is simply that the stock market forgot to take its meds. Yes, I admit, the past three weeks have been pretty depressive. (With just one manic suckers’ rally on Monday, October 13 – and a hysterical continuation the following Tuesday morning – before the market plunged hard, yet again.) But really, all the economy needs is a little lithium in its belly. See?

If the Dow Jones were my friend, I’d recommend that it seek professional psychological help immediately. Speaking of depressing things, I’d suggest not looking at your retirement funds. Just keep buying as we descend into the 7000s.

2. Avian influenza presents no real danger to humans.

Eh, well, maybe I’m losing interest in the thick sarcasm. Actually, it looks like we should be due for another influenza pandemic pretty soon. The last one was the Hong Kong flu in 1968. The most serious influenza pandemic on record was the 1918 Spanish flu. Perhaps you’d like to take a look at the federal government’s fancy pandemic flu maps.

In related news: So far, there are no confirmed cases of the highly pathogenic H5N1 strain of avian influenza in North America. But this deadly flu virus is infecting people in Asia, Europe and Africa. And it does pose a pandemic threat because humans have little or no immunity. Over half of those infected have died. So, why isn’t it more widespread by now? Because human-to-human transmission of the H5N1 virus isn’t working efficiently enough, yet. I guess we’ll probably have to wait for the swine (an intermediate animal host) to get it from the birds and then give it to us. Gee, thanks, antigenic shift. Until then, enjoy the delicious strains of seasonal influenza. That special time of year is just starting.

Looking at the H5N1 map, it reminds me that Alaska sure is close to Russia, which has been stricken with avian influenza. I sure hope the Russians don’t sneak any chickens over the Bering Strait. Good thing the Alaskans will be sure to shoo them back over into Russia, as part of Governor Palin’s foreign policy plan.

3. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin is a genius of foreign policy.

Stop laughing. OK, more accurately, Sarah Palin can be described a “post turtle.” Hmm, what is a post turtle, you ask? Let me share a quote from The Idiot Speaketh:

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was. The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a post turtle.”

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain. “You know she didn’t get up there by herself. She doesn’t belong up there. She doesn’t know what to do while she is up there, and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put her up there to begin with.”

Behold the geography of Palin:

To quote Tina Fey as Palin: “I can see Russia from my house!” By the way, thanks for the map, GraphJam.

I hope you all enjoyed the final presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain tonight.