Lazy man’s Thanksgiving dinner for two

Sunday, November 18, 2007

With the holiday season rapidly approaching, now is an excellent time to share my official lazy (read: efficient) man’s Thanksgiving dinner for two (on a budget). It works for Christmas dinner too!

Aren’t able to get home to see the family this year? Don’t really want to leave the house? Too busy to spend all day cooking? Below are directions for everything a couple needs.

This whole gigantic two-person meal costs about $15 and takes about 25 minutes to prepare all the sides, which is a process you should start once the turkey has been in the oven for about 70 minutes.

Turkey drumsticks Step 1: The Turkey

  • Place two thawed turkey drumsticks (about 1 lb. each) into a glass baking pan and sprinkle the drumsticks with seasoned salt, pepper, and garlic salt. Add a little water to the bottom of the pan for moisture and cover the pan with aluminum foil. Bake at 325 degrees for around 90-100 minutes. Uncover pan after about 80 minutes to brown the drumsticks. (Cost: $2.50; Prep time: 5 minutes, plus the time you spent watching cartoons on YouTube or whatever while you waited for it to cook)

Satsuma mandarins and cranberries
Step 2: The Sides

Now your turkey has been in the oven for a little over an hour and it’s time for you to begin slaving away to “make” the delicious sides.

Start making the cranberry-orange relish first:

  • You’ll need a blender or food processor for this. Rinse and grind up one 12 oz. bag of fresh whole cranberries and three or four (if small) clementine/satsuma mandarin oranges, including the entire orange peel/zest from one or two. Then add up to one-cup sugar to the blended mix. (Cost: $3.50; Prep time: 10-15 minutes, unless your blender really sucks like mine)

(Remember to take the foil off the turkey in the oven.)

What’s your vegetable? Asparagus

  • Rinse and steam 1 lb. of your favorite fresh vegetable, such as broccoli, asparagus, or green beans. (Cost: $2.50; Prep/cook time: 10 minutes)

Then, while the vegetables are steaming, prepare the following two prepackaged, MSG-infused items simultaneously (directions are on the packaging).

Got to have the stuffing:

  • Kraft Stove Top Stuffing Mix for Chicken, 6 oz. box (Cost: $1.50; Prep/cook time: 5 minutes)

Stove Top Stuffing and Idahoan Mashed Potatoes And, of course, the potatoes:

  • Idahoan Roasted Garlic Mashed Potatoes, 4 oz. pouch (Cost: $1.00; Prep/cook time: 5 minutes)

Lastly:

  • Add two bottles of R.W. Knudsen Family (or Martinelli’s) sparkling juice, any flavor, to the festive spread (Cost: $4.00; Prep time: However long it takes you to get them from the refrigerator)

R.W. Knudsen Family sparkling juice
Step 3: The Eating

That’s it. A $15 Thanksgiving dinner for two with only about 30 minutes of actual preparation/cooking time. Serve and enjoy! There will be enough for two to eat until you are both uncomfortably full and want to fall asleep, which is, as we all know, the true meaning of Thanksgiving.

Then, once you wake up from your tryptophan-induced coma, you’ll have to get some pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

Hopefully you thought to make the pie the previous night. Mmm, pie.

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