Movie Ratings & Reviews

Last film added: January 25, 2021. There are currently 1678 films in the database (since 1996).

Rated CRAP out of 10

Search returned all films with a rating of CRAP out of 1678 total films.

FROM BAD TO WORSE

10,000 BC (2008) CRAP
Anti-visionary Roland Emmerich directs this dumb prehistoric epic. It's dull, preposterous and sanitized for kids.
13 Seconds (2004) CRAP
I was cost-effectively bored by this cliché-ridden indie splatter film. Unbearably amateurish and uncreepy.
54 (1998) CRAP
A story about famous 1970s disco nightclub Studio 54, starring Ryan Phillippe and Salma Hayek.
88 Minutes (2008) CRAP
Features ludicrous, unthrilling plot twists, perky young women and the famous forensic psychiatrist Al Pacino.
American Werewolf in Paris, An (1997) CRAP
At the Eiffel Tower an American tourist meets Julie Delpy, who possesses a werewolf serum.
Anaconda (1997) CRAP
Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube. In the Amazon. With a giant CGI snake. Good times.
Animal, The (2001) CRAP
This crude 84-minute Rob Schneider disaster might have been an amusing Saturday Night Live skit.
Armageddon (1998) CRAP
A deep-core drilling team pretends to be astronauts in this Jerry Bruckheimer popcorn flick.
Astronaut's Wife, The (1999) CRAP
Astronaut Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron star in this stupid update of Rosemary's Baby.
Avengers, The (1998) CRAP
There was nothing Uma Thurman could do to save this ill-fated remake.
Bad Teacher (2011) CRAP
Gold digger Cameron Diaz is a terrible junior high teacher who wants breast-implant surgery. Misanthropic.
Balls of Fury (2007) CRAP
Horrendously unfunny comedy mixes Ping-Pong, kung fu and sophomoric jokes with a secret FBI mission.
Batman & Robin (1997) CRAP
Batman George Clooney, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone starred in this contrived, colossal waste.
Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) CRAP
In the year 3000, an alien race tries to enslave humanity. Scientologist John Travolta presides.
Below Her Mouth (2017) CRAP
Steamy, stilted affair between a roofer and a fashion editor. Lesbian sex without character development.
Beverly Hills Ninja (1997) CRAP
Goofy and clumsy Chris Farley was raised by a clan of Ninja warriors.
Bio-Dome (1996) CRAP
Pauly Shore. Moronic best friends get themselves locked inside the Bio-Dome science experiment. Kill me.
Bordello of Blood (1996) CRAP
Another Cryptkeeper movie. This time a funeral parlor moonlights as a vampire whorehouse. Angie Everhart!
Bride Wars (2009) CRAP
Was subjected to this loathsome, soul-crushingly shallow piece while traveling, almost killed self. Fuck this.
Charlie's Angels (2000) CRAP
Cameron, Drew and Lucy Liu encourage objectification by the male gaze and call it liberation.
Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle (2003) CRAP
Bimbo agents Cameron, Drew and Lucy Liu are back! With sparkly dirtbikes and eye-glitter!
C.O.G. (2013) CRAP
A self-absorbed graduate tries living the simple life in Oregon, finds self-hatred through religion? Pointless garbage.
Committed (2000) CRAP
Adorable nitwit Heather Graham follows her panicked husband across the country. Attempted hilarity ensues.
Con Air (1997) CRAP
Can Nicolas Cage save a hijacked transport plane? Connect the mind-numbing dots between Bruckheimer pyrotechnics.
Contaminated Man, The (2000) CRAP
Natascha McElhone stars in this film about a Hungarian man infected with a deadly pathogen.
Corky Romano (2001) CRAP
Bumbling idiot Chris Kattan tries to infiltrate the local FBI to destroy gang-related racketeering evidence.
Coyote Ugly (2000) CRAP
Jerry Bruckheimer presents Tyra Banks's breasts and some blonde chick with an annoying voice.
Cruel Intentions (1999) CRAP
Sarah Michelle Gellar is cute, but do yourself a favor and watch Dangerous Liaisons instead.
Curve, The (1998) CRAP
Matthew Lillard and a friend kill their roommate and make it look like a suicide.
Date Movie (2006) CRAP
Two Scary Movie screenwriters spoof the romantic comedy genre to death. Alyson Hannigan stars. Lame.
Day Without a Mexican, A (2004) CRAP
California's entire Hispanic population vanishes into pink fog. Satirical premise is thoroughly beaten to death.
Dead Man on Campus (1998) CRAP
Flunking college students Tom Everett Scott and Mark-Paul Gosselaar try to find a suicidal roommate.
Deep Rising (1998) CRAP
A giant squid attacks a luxurious cruise ship. At least jewel-thief Famke Janssen doesn't suck.
Desire (2017) CRAP
Two estranged sisters reunite at a wedding. Lust destroys their lives again. Boring yet poetic.
Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) CRAP
Aquarium-cleaner Rob Schneider becomes a gigolo after being mistaken for one. It's juvenile vuglar fun.
Dirty Work (1998) CRAP
In desperate need of money, Norm MacDonald opens a revenge-for-hire service. Worthless unfunny slapstick.
Disappointments Room, The (2016) CRAP
Disappointment was in the title, so I can't say I wasn't warned. Incoherent, spooky nonsense.
Down to You (2000) CRAP
Freddie Prinze Jr. sucks. Julia Stiles sucks. Mutually self-absorbed, together they suck even more.
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) CRAP
A moronic Minnesota beauty pageant, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Ellen Barkin and Kirstie Alley.
Drowning Mona (2000) CRAP
A woman drives a car into the river. Everyone in town is a murder suspect.
Dunston Checks In (1996) CRAP
Concierge Jason Alexander works in a luxury hotel. Enter a friendly, jewel-thief orangutan. Silly hijinx!
Emoji Movie, The (2017) CRAP
They turned a smartphone messaging app into a movie? I was nihilistically curious. WEARY. GRIMACING.
Epic Movie (2007) CRAP
Following the unwatchable Date Movie, now these hacks imitate mega-blockbusters. I enjoyed Jayma Mays.
Eragon (2006) CRAP
A bad movie about dragons, dragon riders, a Shade's dark magic and evil King Galbatorix.
Event Horizon (1997) CRAP
In 2047, Laurence Fishburne captains a questionable crew of astronauts prone to hallucinations and death.
Eye of the Beholder (1999) CRAP
A misogynistic film. British intelligence agent Ewan McGregor is obsessed with beautiful killer Ashley Judd.
Failure to Launch (2006) CRAP
Matthew McConaughey's parents set him up with Sarah Jessica Parker so he'll finally move out.
Falling Sky (1998) CRAP
Depressing movie set in Las Vegas about alcoholic mother Karen Allen and daughter Brittany Murphy.
FearDotCom (2002) CRAP
People are dying after logging on to a website. Natascha McElhone's talent is wasted.
Flubber (1997) CRAP
This remake stars absent-minded professor Robin Williams who creates a rubber-like super-bouncy substance.
Fools Rush In (1997) CRAP
A formulaic romantic comedy Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. Salma deserved a better costar.
Freddy vs. Jason (2003) CRAP
Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize teenagers, and each other. Boring and stupid.
Friday the 13th (2009) CRAP
Boobs, beer and pot. The characters are so annoying that you wish they'd die faster.
Gamer (2009) CRAP
Brainless, ultraviolent sci-fi mishmash of bad writing, bad acting, jerky editing, digital effects and boobs.
Ghosts of Mars (2001) CRAP
Unintentional comedy, starring Natasha Henstridge and Ice Cube, in which Mars colonists become possessed.
Godzilla (1998) CRAP
A giant Japanese-inspired, American-ruined CGI spectacle of capitalistic entertainment.
Half Baked (1998) CRAP
Get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. I've made bongs with less.
Hard Rain (1998) CRAP
I could not suspend my disbelief. This flood-ravaged trainwreck of a thriller stars Morgan Freeman.
Haunting, The (1999) CRAP
Watch the 1963 original instead. They ruined this version with blatantly unspooky special effects.
Here on Earth (2000) CRAP
The presence of Leelee Sobieski is the only conceivable reason to contemplate watching this.
Hollow Man (2000) CRAP
Who would you rape or kill if you could turn invisible? This is boringly dumb.
Home Alone 3 (1997) CRAP
Macaulay Culkin wasn't in this masterful piece of work, but a young Scarlett Johansson was.
Hot Chick, The (2002) CRAP
An attractive but mean-spirited girl becomes trapped in Rob Schneider's body. Stupid but mildly amusing.
House on Haunted Hill (1999) CRAP
Want to earn a million dollars? Just stay alive, all night. A bad remake.
Hush (1998) CRAP
Mother-in-law Jessica Lange is batshit crazy. Pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow should be afraid, very afraid.
I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) CRAP
Stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. It's craptastic slasher fun!
I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) CRAP
Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts and Freddie Prinze Jr. are back in this gory slasher sequel.
Idle Hands (1999) CRAP
A boy's right hand becomes murderously possessed. Jessica Alba may prevent you from killing yourself.
Impostor (2002) CRAP
A Philip K. Dick adaptation gone wrong. Is engineer Gary Sinise actually an alien android?
In Dreams (1999) CRAP
Annette Bening is endangered by apples in this silly thriller. Also stars Robert Downey Jr.
Inspector Gadget (1999) CRAP
Security guard Matthew Broderick is transformed into a cybernetic police officer in this adapted cartoon.
Jawbreaker (1999) CRAP
Popular highschoolers Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart and Julie Benz accidentally kill the prom queen.
Just Like Heaven (2005) CRAP
Reese Witherspoon, in spirit form, inhabits architect Mark Ruffalo's apartment in this formulaic romantic comedy.
Josie and the Pussycats (2001) CRAP
Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson star in this annoying pop-music satire.
Knockaround Guys (2001) CRAP
A derivative mobster movie starring Vin Diesel, Seth Green and Barry Pepper.
Lady Ninja Kaede 2 (2009) CRAP
Why? Bizarre, terrible Japanese erotica. Lady ninja's mission is to destroy an Edo sex cult.
Lake Placid (1999) CRAP
Why couldn't the 30-foot crocodile have eaten everyone? At least it's only 82 minutes long.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) CRAP
Pointless and dull, with lame CGI. As if artifact-collector Angelina Jolie needed extra bra padding.
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) CRAP
Angelina Jolie is searching for Pandora's box. Alas, beauty and special effects don't equal quality.
Legally Blonde (2001) CRAP
Looking to commit suicide? Reese Witherspoon can help that thought process along.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003) CRAP
Soul-crushingly shallow materialism mixed with plucky good-heartedness. I will now light myself on fire.
Loser (2000) CRAP
Irritating college student Jason Biggs falls in love with Mena Suvari.
Lost in Space (1998) CRAP
Danger Will Robinson! You are Earth's only hope. But your space movie sucks, a lot.
Ma Mère (2005) CRAP
Dark, French exercise of reckless, unlikable characters finding pleasure in incest and depravity. Rotten, pointless.
Macbeth (2007) CRAP
Bad acting with laser-sighted guns, drugs and tattooed naked girls. A straight retelling of Shakespeare.
Meet the Spartans (2008) CRAP
Friedberg and Seltzer reinforce their status as truly unparalleled hacks of the spoof genre. Terrible.
Mercury Rising (1998) CRAP
FBI agent Bruce Willis protects an autistic boy who has deciphered a sophisticated cryptographic system.
Message in a Bottle (1999) CRAP
Reasons to avoid this: Kevin Costner, manipulative sentimentality, depressing ending, too long, Kevin Costner.
Miss Congeniality (2000) CRAP
Annoying FBI agent Sandra Bullock goes undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant.
Mission to Mars (2000) CRAP
A boringly sentimental movie about a Mars Recovery Mission. Stars Gary Sinise and Tim Robbins.
Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) CRAP
Bridgette Wilson was a much better Sonya Blade. The dialogue was likely written by monkeys.
New Guy, The (2002) CRAP
A crude high-school movie about reinventing yourself. Zooey Deschanel could not redeem its incoherence.
New Rose Hotel (1999) CRAP
Incoherent, completely worthless adaptation of a William Gibson story. An insufferable, redundant waste of time.
National Lampoon's Barely Legal (2003) CRAP
Three high school guys attempt to make a porno movie. Vic Ramalot takes it personally.
Not Another Teen Movie (2001) CRAP
A tasteless spoof of bad teen-movie clichés. Chock full of dick jokes and scatological humor.
Paradox (2018) CRAP
Daryl Hannah directs outlaw Neil Young in an experimental concert film of supernatural frontier nonsense.
Patch Adams (1998) CRAP
Robin Williams stars in this emotionally manipulative story about the power of laughter as medicine.
Pearl Harbor (2001) CRAP
Jerry Bruckheimer presents Ben Affleck. And Kate Beckinsale. Trying to act. Together.
Pets United (2020) CRAP
Blatant caricature of popular pet and robot movies, plus superficial, mean-spirited body-shaming. Avoid this garbage.
Poison Ivy 3: The New Seduction (1997) CRAP
Simplistic thriller starring sinister seductress Jaime Pressly. Gratuitous nudity and irrational vengeance.
Prey (2007) CRAP
A poorly written movie about Americans in Africa who are stalked by lions. Embarrassingly bad.
P.S. I Love You (2007) CRAP
Hilary Swank was miscast among sitcom-quality sentimental actors where everyone is trying to be cute.
Random Hearts (1999) CRAP
Bereavement becomes romance for Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas in this dull Hollywood cliché.
Red Planet (2000) CRAP
Val Kilmer and Carrie-Anne Moss are on Mars in 2050, trying to save humanity.
Reindeer Games (2000) CRAP
A violent, preposterous bellyflop of a heist thriller. Stars Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron.
Return, The (2006) CRAP
Sarah Michelle Gellar is supernaturally drawn to an old farmhouse where a murder took place.
Runaway Bride (1999) CRAP
Julia Roberts and Richard Gere try to capitalize on Pretty Woman's success. I nearly puked.
Say It Isn't So (2001) CRAP
I would love to say this Heather Graham movie wasn't so. And get a refund.
Scooby-Doo (2002) CRAP
Matthew Lillard's Shaggy impression is great, but the rest of this live-action adaptation is useless.
Scream 3 (2000) CRAP
Neve Campbell and David Arquette return for the final chapter of this slasher trilogy.
S. Darko (2009) CRAP
Cash-grab follow-up to Donnie Darko. Huge plot holes and weak characters, but exceeded worst expectations.
Sharknado (2013) CRAP
Was idiotically curious about the magnitude of this TV-movie's absurdity. It's a bloody, bad-CGI trainwreck.
Signs (2002) CRAP
M. Night Shyamalan and Mel Gibson really crapped the bed with this lame alien-invasion movie.
Slackers (2002) CRAP
Not even Jason Schwartzman can save this utterly detestable gross-out comedy. Painfully unfunny.
Spawn (1997) CRAP
A killed mercenary returns to walk the Earth after making deal with the devil.
Species II (1998) CRAP
American astronauts land on Mars. Even Natasha Henstridge's nudity can't redeem this lame sci-fi bloodbath.
Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) CRAP
Who would have thought Sandra Bullock would miss Keanu Reeves so much.
Sphere (1998) CRAP
An underwater sci-fi thriller with Dustin Hoffman and Samuel L. Jackson that somehow really sucks.
Spice World (1997) CRAP
This plotless gibberish about the Spice Girls phenomenon is not bad enough to be good.
Stranded (2003) CRAP
Astronauts crash onto the surface of Mars. Intriguing concept, but bad science and idiotic script.
Stupids, The (1996) CRAP
Incredibly dimwitted Tom Arnold unknowingly blunders into an illegal weapons deal with his stupid family.
Summer Catch (2001) CRAP
Watching Freddie Prinze Jr. is painful, but Jessica Biel's wet t-shirt almost made it bearable.
Supernova (2000) CRAP
A deep-space search and rescue mission that, like the film, goes horribly wrong.
Sweet Home Alabama (2002) CRAP
I'm sorry, but Reese Witherspoon made me want to skewer my temples.
Sweetest Thing, The (2002) CRAP
A disposable saccharine comedy about searching for love, starring Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate.
Swimfan (2002) CRAP
My dislike for Erika Christensen didn't help me enjoy this Fatal Attraction rip-off.
Tad the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas (2017) CRAP
An awkward explorer, with Peruvian mummy sidekick, versus a millionaire looking for King Midas' necklace.
Takers (2010) CRAP
Stylish but clichéd, with hyperactive camera work. Seasoned bank robbers go after an armored car.
Tart (2001) CRAP
Dominique Swain and Bijou Phillips are wealthy troubled friends at a private school in Manhattan.
Three to Tango (1999) CRAP
Sitcom-quality actors Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell succeed in little more than furthering sexual stereotypes.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) CRAP
A tedious and loathsome sequence of explosions. Despite childhood nostalgia, I hoped everyone might die.
Tuxedo, The (2002) CRAP
Chauffer Jackie Chan wears a special gadget-laden tuxedo. Jennifer Love Hewitt is also present.
Underworld: Evolution (2006) CRAP
Acting-challenged vampire Kate Beckinsale is still battling werewolves, but now with extra CGI incoherence.
Van Wilder (2002) CRAP
Tara Reid and Ryan Reynolds are incapable of intelligent conversation, but let's not fault Ryan.
Vegas Vacation (1997) CRAP
This completely uninspired slapstick sequel sends Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo to Las Vegas.
Very Bad Things (1998) CRAP
A dark comedy about the consequences of a prostitute's death during a Vegas bachelor party.
Virus (1999) CRAP
Jamie Lee Curtis fights an electromagnetic alien lifeform. It's a nicely polished turd.
Waterboy, The (1998) CRAP
Frustrated waterboy Adam Sandler shows a talent for tackling football players in this dumb movie.
Where the Heart Is (2000) CRAP
Pregnant Natalie Portman is abandoned at an Oklahoma Wal-Mart. Ashley Judd needs to be spayed.
White Noise (2005) CRAP
A crummy paranormal movie, but watch the DVD's cool special features about Electronic Voice Phenomena.
Wild Girl Waltz (2013) CRAP
I want to support indie films, but this was almost unwatchable. Painful acting, unlikable characters.
Wild Wild West (1999) CRAP
Stars gunslinger Will Smith and Salma Hayek. Features a giant steam-powered spider, with Gatling guns.
Wrong Cops (2013) CRAP
Aggressively self-conscious inanity via wild, musical antics of a moronic, corrupt police force. WTF, Dupieux.
Year One (2009) CRAP
Even though Jack Black and Michael Cera are naturally hilarious, this plotless movie doesn't work.

Statistical ratings distribution of these 144 films

bell curve

6.5

CRAP

2.5

10:

CRAP:

100%

Do you have any movie recommendations? Perhaps you have a complaint to file about the film ratings or 15-word reviews? Ladies and gentleman, one and all, feel free to air your grievances! There's no need to wait until the annual Festivus celebration. Take this opportunity to share.

Thanks for visiting. For more time wastage, try the spiral::notepad.

Filmometer.com

Movie Ratings & Reviews

Rated CRAP out of 10