Movie Ratings & Reviews
Last film added: July 16, 2018. There are currently 1585 films in the database (since 1996).
- Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012) 10
Her father's ill, ice caps are melting and aurochs are invading six-year-old Hushpuppy's bayou. Love.
- Being John Malkovich (1999) 10
Spike Jonze directs puppeteer John Cusack who discovers a portal into John Malkovich's mind.
- Big Fish (2003) 10
A son learns about his dying storyteller father by piecing together his legends and myths.
- Dance of Reality, The (2014) 10
Jodorowsky bares his soul through a dreamlike, mythical retelling of his childhood in Chile. Provocative.
- Dark City (1998) 10
Rufus Sewell struggles to recover his memories in a nightmarish world run by telekinetic beings.
- Endless Poetry (2017) 10
Jodorowsky's vibrant retelling of his life continues. Chronicles personal and artistic development via magical realism.
- Eraserhead 2000 (2001) 10
David Lynch's restored first feature film. A nightmarish 1977 masterpiece of grotesque, eerie postindustrial life.
- Fall, The (2008) 10
Tarsem Singh, director of 'The Cell,' creates a delightful fantasy based in 1920s Los Angeles.
- Ghost Story, A (2017) 10
Bedsheet-covered meditation on the passage of time and death's inevitability. A profoundly sad haunted house.
- Midnight in Paris (2011) 10
A surreal, inspired masterpiece by Woody Allen about the importance of living in the present.
- Mr. Nobody (2010) 10
Nemo Nobody is the last mortal in the world. Mind-bending story across time. Perfect soundtrack.
- Pan's Labyrinth (2006) 10
Guillermo del Toro presents a young girl's fantastic alternate reality, set in 1944 fascist Spain.
- South Park - Imaginationland (2007) 10
Epic three-part story arc from season 11 released as a standalone movie. The best ever.
- Spirited Away (2001) 10
Miyazaki animates an alternate nighttime universe of Japanese gods and spirits.
- Animation Show, The (2003) 9
A collection of short films (mostly comedy) put together by Mike Judge and Don Hertzfeldt.
- Animation Show 2005, The (2005) 9
Don Hertzfeldt, Bill Plympton and other animators return in this second collection of excellent shorts.
- Animation Show 2007, The (2007) 9
The touring festival's third anthology of animated shorts collected by Don Hertzfeldt and Mike Judge.
- Black Swan (2010) 9
Ballet dancer Natalie Portman slowly loses her mind while preparing to star in Swan Lake.
- Brand Upon the Brain! A Remembrance in 12 Chapters (2006) 9
Guy Maddin's homage to silent film. A return to an abandoned island home. Orphanage memories.
- Coraline (2009) 9
A secret door reveals a young girl's alternate, button-eyed life. Fantastic experience in RealD 3D.
- Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) 9
The disappearance of a magical jade sword spurs a breathtaking quest for the missing treasure.
- Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The (2008) 9
A man ages backwards, with bizarre consequences. Directed by David Fincher and starring Brad Pitt.
- Dark Knight, The (2008) 9
Nolan's nightmarish adaptation of Batman, Joker and Two-Face raises the bar for comic-book movies, again.
- Enter the Void (2010) 9
Stunning and technically ingenious. A drug dealer takes the ultimate trip, from DMT to out-of-body.
- Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, A (2015) 9
In Iranian ghost-town Bad City, a lonesome vampire stalks residents at night. Charming as hell.
- Holy Motors (2012) 9
Limousine-traveling man assumes nine diverse identities. Dreamlike metaphor for acting/life, the masks of each genre.
- Howl's Moving Castle (2005) 9
The visual wonderment of Miyazaki reveals a magical world of witches, wizards and fire demons.
- Inside Out (2015) 9
A Minnesota tween is moved to California. What goes on in her head? Pixar brilliance.
- Jacket, The (2005) 9
Military veteran Adrien Brody can foresee his own death and possibly change Keira Knightley's future.
- Let the Right One In (2008) 9
A dark, dreamlike fairytale about a young Scandinavian vampire that explores a tender childhood friendship.
- Life of Pi (2012) 9
A shipwrecked Indian boy survives on a lifeboat, with zoo animals for company. Magical fable.
- Little Otik (2001) 9
A fantastically disturbing Czech fairytale about parenthood. It's conventionally structured for a Svankmajer film.
- Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003) 9
I don't think there's going to be a return journey, Mr. Frodo.
- Millennium Actress (2001) 9
This animated epic blurs the distinction between film, history and memory. There are many truths.
- Others, The (2001) 9
Nicole Kidman lives in a darkened and haunted old house with her two photosensitive children.
- Paprika (2007) 9
An insane anime that blurs the separation between reality, dreams, memory, cinema and the Internet.
- Ponyo (2009) 9
Miyazaki's charming story of a magical goldfish princess who begins a quest to become human.
- Prestige, The (2006) 9
A rivalry of deadly stage illusions escalates between Victorian-era magicians. David Bowie is Nikola Tesla!
- Princess Mononoke (1997) 9
Miyazaki presents a mythological tale of civilization encroaching on the beast gods of the forest.
- Red Turtle, The (2017) 9
A man stranded on a deserted island encounters an enormous red turtle. Dialogue-free Japanese fable.
- Ruby Sparks (2012) 9
Ingenious dissection of a man falling in love with his own idea of a woman.
- Science of Sleep, The (2006) 9
A charming hyperactive blur of cellophane-animated fantasy and reality. Surreal and inventive, but not profound.
- Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010) 9
Clever graphic novel adaptation about a boy who must defeat his girlfriend's seven evil exes.
- Shape of Water, The (2017) 9
Love story between a mute janitor and an amphibious creature at a 1962 top-secret laboratory.
- Song of the Sea (2014) 9
Magical journey of Irish siblings to free fairy creatures trapped in the modern world. Beautiful.
- South Park - The Complete 13 Seasons (2009) 9
The misadventures of four irreverent grade-schoolers in the quiet, dysfunctional town of South Park, Colorado.
- Stranger Than Fiction (2006) 9
Will Ferrell tries to figure out who's narrating his unraveling life. Maggie Gyllenhaal is adorable.
- Stranger Things - Seasons 1-2 (2017) 9
A small Indiana town in the 1980s has a shadowy parallel dimension. Thrilling, emotionally resonant.
- Toy Story 3 (2010) 9
Andy's going to college. Even better than the first two, with a particularly poignant ending.
- Twin Peaks - The Definitive Gold Box Edition (2007) 9
David Lynch's groundbreaking 1990-91 TV series. It's a paranormal murder mystery set in northern Washington.
- Twin Peaks: The Return (2017) 9
David Lynch revisits the surreal, mystical character of a quaint Washington town 25 years later.
- Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives (2011) 9
On his deathbed, Uncle Boonmee experiences the magical intersection of spirit, animal and human worlds.
- Waking Life (2001) 9
Richard Linklater presents a uniquely animated universe that explores dream life and real life.
- Watchmen (2009) 9
Zack Snyder successfully films Alan Moore's graphic novel about an alternate, quantum America in 1985.
- Where the Wild Things Are (2009) 9
Spike Jonze adapts Maurice Sendak's classic story for the screen. Reality is a child's imagination.
- Adventure Time - Seasons 1 and 2 (2011) 8
A boy and a magical dog are hero-adventurers in the Land of Ooo. Hilariously bizarre.
- Avengers, The (2012) 8
Nick Fury brings together Marvel superheroes to save the Earth from Loki. Very balanced effort.
- Batman Begins (2005) 8
The prequel to the Batman series, directed by Christopher Nolan, includes an awesome Batmobile.
- Bothersome Man, The (2007) 8
A man arrives in a strange city with no memory of how he got there.
- Cell, The (2000) 8
Psychotherapist Jennifer Lopez journeys inside a comatose serial killer's mind, hoping to recover information. Graphic.
- Cemetery of Splendor (2016) 8
Gentle magical realism featuring Thai soldiers with a mysterious sleeping sickness, ancient kings, and love.
- Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrob... (2005) 8
Four British children travel through a magical wardrobe into C.S. Lewis's mythical land of Narnia.
- Coco (2017) 8
On Día de los Muertos, an aspiring musician crosses into the afterlife seeking his great-great-grandfather.
- Corpse Bride (2005) 8
Tim Burton presents a shy groom whisked into the underworld after inadvertently marrying the dead.
- Dancer in the Dark (2000) 8
Björk arrives in America with her son, expecting life to be like a Hollywood film.
- Dark Knight Rises, The (2012) 8
Very emotionally dark film that rises to an impressive, satisfying finale for Nolan's Batman trilogy.
- Devil's Backbone, The (2001) 8
An unsettling ghost story set in a Catholic orphanage during the Spanish Civil War.
- Franklyn (2009) 8
In a future metropolis (see Dark City, Blade Runner) and contemporary London, Eva Green stars.
- Gruffalo, The (2009) 8
A cunning mouse outwits a succession of predators while walking in the deep dark wood.
- Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008) 8
Stunning grotesqueness and visual poetry from Guillermo del Toro. Incredible set design and beautiful effects.
- Illusionist, The (2006) 8
In 1900 Vienna, Edward Norton is Eisenheim the Illusionist. This lush production inspires supernatural reflection.
- Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, The (2009) 8
Gilliam shows us the death of magic (while honoring Heath Ledger) in spectacular visual form.
- Jungle Book, The (2016) 8
Can't really go wrong with Bill Murray and Christopher Walken voicing characters in this adaptation.
- K-PAX (2001) 8
Kevin Spacey is either extraterrestrial or delusional. And he eats a banana without peeling it.
- King Kong (2005) 8
Naomi Watts is amazing and the special effects are over-the-top fantastic, but it's excessively long.
- Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) 8
A young boy searches for a magical suit of armor, fights vengeful spirits. Stop-motion origami.
- Kung Fury (2015) 8
In 1985, a Miami cop goes back in time to kill Hitler. Over-the-top crowdfunded action-comedy.
- Let Me In (2010) 8
A bullied young boy befriends a lonely young female vampire in this visceral English-language remake.
- Little Prince, The (2016) 8
An overscheduled girl befriends an eccentric aviator, who shares his extraordinary world. Moving, charming adaptation.
- Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001) 8
He is passing into the Shadow World. He'll soon become a wraith like them.
- Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002) 8
We needs it. Must have the precious. They stole it from us. Sneaky little hobbitses.
- Monster Calls, A (2016) 8
A yew-tree monster helps a 12-year-old cope with his single mother's terminal illness. Devastating fable.
- Monsters, Inc. (2001) 8
Pixar presents a bunch of scary monsters who are afraid of being contaminated by children.
- Moon Man (2012) 8
Moon Man hitches a ride to Earth on a comet and discovers children need him.
- Neverwas (2007) 8
A psychiatrist befriends a patient in a mental institution and discovers his father's secrets. Magical.
- Nothing (2005) 8
Vincenzo Natali, the director of Cube, presents a film about nothing with his two friends.
- Painting, The (2013) 8
Characters in an incomplete painting seek their creator. Charming parable about God and social status.
- ParaNorman (2012) 8
Norman survives stop-motion ghosts, zombies and grownups to save his town from a centuries-old curse.
- Pleasantville (1998) 8
Two teenagers find themselves in a 1950s sitcom. Their behavior accidentally transforms their black-and-white suburb.
- Pushing Daisies - The Complete First Season (2007) 8
A man can bring dead people back to life, with Amélie-style narration. Whimsical forensic romance.
- Rabbits (2002) 8
David Lynch's nine-episode sitcom starring people in rabbit suits, accompanied by laugh tracks. Plotless, eerie.
- Robot Chicken - Seasons 1-3 (2007) 8
Demented stop-motion animation using action figures and toys. These sketch-comedy vignettes skewer pop culture.
- Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) 8
How the Rebel Alliance stole the Death Star plans. Occurs between Episodes III and IV.
- Room on the Broom (2012) 8
A gentle witch offers rides to a variety of animals on her increasingly crowded broom.
- Russian Ark (2002) 8
300 years of Russian history displayed in a single continuous shot at the Hermitage Museum.
- Shrek (2001) 8
No, not my buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons.
- Shrek 2 (2004) 8
Well, folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a Popsicle stick.
- Special (2008) 8
Michael Rapaport participates in an experimental drug study and becomes sure his superpowers are strengthening.
- Spider-Man 2 (2004) 8
Tobey Maguire continues his demanding double life as student and superhero. Enter supervillain Dr. Octopus.
- Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) 8
Abrams redeems the franchise as much as could be expected. WTF, giant Lincoln Memorial Gollum.
- Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017) 8
Another one! Rey finds hermit Luke Skywalker, then battles Kylo Ren and the First Order.
- Tale of the Princess Kaguya, The (2014) 8
Watch a magical moon nymph be bored by 10th-century Japanese nobility. Pastel-toned Studio Ghibli folktale.
- Toy Story 2 (1999) 8
All right, nobody look till I get my cork back in.
- Tuvalu (2001) 8
Stunning, whimsical German film with almost no dialogue set in a surreal bathhouse in Bulgaria.
- What We Do in the Shadows (2014) 8
The real lives of vampire roommates in a New Zealand flat. Funny interactions with werewolves.
- 9 (2009) 7
A visually stunning, steampunk world inhabited by robot rag dolls. Ending is weak, plot underdeveloped.
- About Time (2013) 7
Sweet tale of a man from a family of time-travelers. Sentimental tearjerker, but inspires reflection.
- Antz (1998) 7
Woody Allen is a neurotic ant who has become disenfranchised from his totalitarian colony.
- Before I Wake (2018) 7
Parents haunted by their lost child. The surprisingly rewarding payoff redeems the clichéd Canker Man.
- Berserk - The Complete Collection (2002) 7
Anime about young warrior Guts and the mercenary company called the Band of the Hawk.
- Best of He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, The (2005) 7
My childhood memories, now on DVD. A first-rate reMASTERing of this moralizing homoerotic 1980s toy-advert.
- Boxtrolls, The (2014) 7
An orphan raised by underground cave-dwelling trash collectors tries to save his friends from extermination.
- Boy and the Beast, The (2016) 7
A nine-year-old boy in Japan stumbles upon a fantastic world of beasts. Uneven coming-of-age anime.
- Brothers Grimm, The (2005) 7
A cartoonish big-budget spectacle based on German folktales. Terry Gilliam directs and Matt Damon stars.
- Cabin in the Woods, The (2012) 7
Turns the horror genre on its head, but crammed with excessive wink-wink cleverness and CGI.
- Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) 7
Steve Rogers volunteers for a top-secret research project that turns him into Captain America. Charming.
- Dead Like Me - The Complete First Season (2003) 7
Showtime TV series about the lives of undead grim reapers trying to make ends meet.
- Dogma (1999) 7
Kevin Smith presents two renegade angels trying to exploit a loophole. Alanis Morissette plays God.
- Elf (2003) 7
Will Ferrell, raised as an elf at the North Pole, just arrived in the U.S.
- FairyTale: A True Story (1997) 7
Two young girls in 1917 take a photograph, believed to confirm the existence of fairies.
- Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) 7
The adventures of writer Newt Scamander in New York's secret community of witches and wizards.
- Gnomeo & Juliet (2011) 7
It's Toy Story/Shrek with feuding Shakespearean garden gnomes. Charming, bizarre and loaded with pop-culture gags.
- Golden Compass, The (2007) 7
A fantasy adventure that rushes forward with a spectacle of soul-animals. Could be more engaging.
- Green Mile, The (1999) 7
Death row guard Tom Hanks observes intelligent mice and the healing power of a prisoner.
- Gruffalo's Child, The (2011) 7
The child of the Gruffalo ignores her father's warnings and seeks the Big Bad Mouse.
- Hellboy (2004) 7
A good-hearted demon is produced in a black-magic Nazi ceremony. This is his story.
- Hellboy Animated: Blood and Iron (2007) 7
Hellboy ends up battling the goddess Hecate after a professor resurrects a powerful female vampire.
- Hunt for Gollum, The (2009) 7
Chris Bouchard's impressive Lord of the Rings film. Gandalf sends Strider out to find Gollum.
- Idiots and Angels (2009) 7
Bill Plympton's animated dark comedy about a morally bankrupt man who wakes up with wings.
- Ink (2009) 7
High-concept visual thriller that weaves the conscious with the subconscious. Falls down on unconvincing acting.
- James and the Giant Peach (1996) 7
Roald Dahl's story of an orphan who befriends humanoid bugs living inside a giant peach.
- Lawn Dogs (1998) 7
Ten-year-old Mischa Barton befriends the lawn cutter, a fellow outsider, in an upscale gated community.
- Liar Liar (1997) 7
His disappointed son's birthday wish renders lawyer Jim Carrey incapable of lying for 24 hours.
- Life Less Ordinary, A (1997) 7
Cleaning man Ewan McGregor takes Cameron Diaz hostage after being fired. Heaven offers romantic help.
- Malice in Wonderland (2010) 7
A woman descends into a gritty underworld after encountering a London taxi driver. Clever update.
- Moana (2016) 7
Disney musical set in Ancient Polynesia. A girl befriends a demigod to save her people.
- Monster in Paris, A (2012) 7
In 1910 Paris, a monster from an eccentric scientist's greenhouse meets a beautiful cabaret singer.
- Mood Indigo (2014) 7
Gondry outwhimsied himself with this bipolar stop-motion diorama. Like Pee-wee's Playhouse plus Amélie, n'est-ce pas?
- Nines, The (2007) 7
The lives of a troubled actor, TV producer and video-game designer intertwine in mysterious ways.
- Pete's Dragon (2016) 7
When a boy is orphaned in the forest, a magical dragon named Elliot protects him.
- Phantom Boy (2016) 7
A boy whose illness allows him to float outside his body befriends a NYC cop.
- Phoebe in Wonderland (2009) 7
An unconventional drama teacher inspires a troubled girl. Elle Fanning and Patricia Clarkson are amazing.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) 7
A well-made Disney/Bruckheimer swashbuckling blockbuster, starring pirate Johnny Depp and Keira Knightley.
- Princess and the Frog, The (2009) 7
Disney fairytale set in Jazz Age-era New Orleans. Waitress Tiana kisses a frog prince. Voodoo.
- Ringu (2003) 7
A mysterious video kills all who watch it, unless the viewer can solve its mystery.
- Saddest Music in the World, The (2004) 7
Guy Maddin oddity. A Canadian beer baroness organizes a saddest-music contest during the Great Depression.
- Secret Life of Walter Mitty, The (2013) 7
In this remake, daydreaming photo manager Ben Stiller finds himself in an extraordinary real-life adventure.
- Secret of Kells, The (2009) 7
A hand-drawn medieval adventure of the boy behind the famed Book of Kells. Intricate visuals.
- Silent Hill (2006) 7
Fantastic atmosphere and set design. A grotesque purgatory of undead meat-creatures, cults, and zombie nurses.
- Sleepy Hollow (1999) 7
Constable Icabod Crane is sent to a village to investigate murders by a headless horseman.
- Spider-Man (2002) 7
Tobey Maguire is bitten by a genetically engineered spider and subsequently wins Kirsten Dunst's love.
- Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) 7
Anakin becomes Darth Vader. Woodenly acted, but better than the first two episodes it is.
- Stardust (2007) 7
A funny Neil Gaiman fairytale set in England that feels somewhat like The Princess Bride.
- Superman Returns (2006) 7
Bryan Singer's reverent reboot of the Superman franchise. Good, but lacks surprises and new ideas.
- Swiss Army Man (2016) 7
Surreal, earnest adventures of a stranded man and the gaseous corpse he befriends. Poetic slapstick?
- Tin Man (2007) 7
Dark re-imagining of the Land of Oz. Zooey Deschanel stars in this three-part Sci-Fi miniseries.
- Twilight of the Ice Nymphs (1998) 7
Jewel-toned, deadpan absurdity from the inimitable Guy Maddin. A kitschy, disorienting fantasy of frustrated desires.
- Unbreakable (2000) 7
A mystery thriller about unrealized supernatural powers. Bruce Willis and Samuel L. Jackson star.
- X-Men (2000) 7
The superheroes from a private academy for mutants must oppose a powerful mutant terrorist organization.
- X2: X-Men United (2003) 7
Mutants continue to struggle against fearful human society and are attacked by military forces.
- Zero Theorem, The (2014) 7
A computer hacker trying to discover the meaning of life keeps being interrupted by Management.
- 4th Dimension, The (2008) 6
Feels inspired by Eraserhead and Pi, but this Aphex Twin-scored meditation on reality ultimately disappoints.
- Alice in Wonderland (1999) 6
A made-for-TV, family-friendly version with a cast of Hollywood all stars. It's hardly worth watching.
- Austin Powers 2: The Spy Who Shagged Me (1999) 6
Mini-me, we do not gnaw on the kitty. Just pet him, stroke him, love him.
- Beowulf (2007) 6
I am Beowulf! My lips don't move right and my eyes are dead. Corny, unsatisfying.
- BFG, The (2016) 6
Spielberg-directed adaptation of the classic Roald Dahl book about giants and a 10-year-old British girl.
- Bolt (2008) 6
A lovable cartoon dog movie. Plus, Miley Cyrus sounds like she drinks whiskey every night.
- Butterfly Effect, The (2004) 6
An excellent concept. Did you really think Ashton Kutcher and friends could pull it off?
- Byzantium (2013) 6
Two mysterious women take refuge in a seaside town. An outlandish but effective vampire story.
- Cartoon Noir (1999) 6
Six oddball, animated shorts from five countries, featuring supernatural elements and darker themes. Mediocre.
- City of Ember (2008) 6
An underground city is falling apart after 200 years. Fairly dark for a kids' movie.
- Exterminating Angels, The (2007) 6
A provocative, high-minded exercise about sexual pleasure in film. It's self-indulgent and oh so French.
- Family Man, The (2000) 6
On Christmas morning, investment broker Nicolas Cage wakes up in a life-altering Dickensian parallel universe.
- Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005) 6
Beautifully rendered CGI could not hold my interest. For Final Fantasy video game fans only.
- Girl Asleep (2016) 6
Vibrant and fantastical. Chaotic caricature of a teenage girl coming of age in 1970s Australia.
- Hellboy Animated: Sword of Storms (2006) 6
A samurai sword sends Hellboy into a dangerous realm of Japanese legends, ghosts and monsters.
- Heroes - Seasons 1-3 (2009) 6
Cleverly structured graphic novel in TV-show format about people with diverse superpowers. It became unwatchable.
- Imagination (2007) 6
Eric Leiser's surreal experiment with puppetry, stop-motion sketches and claymation. And unconvincing actors.
- Immortals (2011) 6
Tarsem's Greek epic succeeds at being a gorgeous, self-important spectacle. It's less enjoyable than 300.
- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) 6
Indy battles the Soviets in 1957. Spielberg/Lucas feature Area 51 and interdimensional cosmic Mayan nonsense.
- Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart (2014) 6
Strange, vivid fantasy about a boy with a mechanical heart. Disjointed script, uncanny valley characters.
- John Carter (2012) 6
Hectic, violent CGI epic about Mars. Sort of fun, but I was never emotionally invested.
- Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole (2010) 6
A young owl is abducted, but he escapes and seeks out the legendary Guardians.
- Dr. Seuss' The Lorax (2012) 6
Hyperactive disservice to Seuss. Teaches how to blindly consume and toss marshmallows to adorable bears.
- Meet Joe Black (1998) 6
We have Brad Pitt as Death, media tycoon Anthony Hopkins, and intriguing daughter Claire Forlani.
- Mirror Mirror (2012) 6
Visually stunning like all Tarsem movies, and Julia Roberts was cast appropriately, but jarringly jokey/dopey.
- Multiplicity (1996) 6
Michael Keaton never has enough time, and so he has himself cloned. Andie MacDowell costars.
- Night at the Museum (2006) 6
New night security guard Ben Stiller discovers that museum exhibits come to life at night.
- Night Watch (2006) 6
First chapter of a derivative Russian fantasy epic featuring warring forces of daytime and nighttime.
- Next (2007) 6
Nicholas Cage can see the future. An unsatisfying Philip K. Dick adaptation of slow-mo explosions.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006) 6
An overlong cartoonish setup to the third movie in the Disney franchise. Johnny Depp shines.
- Ricky (2009) 6
French parable about a bizarre baby's physical development, his precocious sister and his irresponsible mother.
- Shallow Hal (2001) 6
Shallow Jack Black falls in love with 300-pound Gwyneth Paltrow because of her inner beauty.
- Small Soldiers (1998) 6
When missile technology is used to enhance toy action figures, the toys go to war.
- Southland Tales (2007) 6
Richard Kelly's dystopian, genre-defying mess of destruction and pop-culture doom. Bad actors cast on purpose?
- Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) 6
Jar Jar is muzzled, Yoda breaks out his light-saber, and Natalie Portman bares her midriff.
- Stigmata (1999) 6
Hairdresser Patricia Arquette shows signs of stigmata, the wounds of Christ. A Vatican priest investigates.
- Tangled (2010) 6
Disney's story of Rapunzel. A bland, computer-animated corporate musical that made me borderline suicidal.
- Thor (2011) 6
The powerful but arrogant warrior Thor is cast out of Asgard and sent to Earth.
- Tideland (2006) 6
A young girl with drug-addicted parents creates a half-fantasy world with doll heads, deranged neighbors.
- Upside Down (2013) 6
If you can somehow accept the ludicrous science/impossible physics, it's charming. An ambitious love story.
- Wild Blue Yonder, The (2005) 6
Werner Herzog fashions a boring sci-fi documentary from beautiful undersea Antarctica footage and NASA video.
- Zathura (2005) 6
A fairly charming family movie that explores childhood adventure. It's basically Jumanji in outer space.
- Alice in Wonderland (2010) 5
Tim Burton took a story I love, stripped out the allegories and added CGI. Sigh.
- Bedazzled (2000) 5
Brendan Fraser sells his soul to the Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) for seven wishes. Mindless remake.
- Born of Hope (2009) 5
Kate Madison's Lord of the Rings prequel, based on Tolkien's appendix paragraphs. Decent low-budget effort.
- Bruce Almighty (2003) 5
Reporter Jim Carrey is given almighty powers to teach him how difficult God's job is.
- City of Angels (1998) 5
Celestial duty or earthly love? Will angel Nicolas Cage become human for Meg Ryan? Sappy!
- Crow: City of Angels, The (1996) 5
The spirit of the Crow resurrects another man seeking revenge for his son's murder.
- Daredevil (2003) 5
Ben Affleck, who can't act, zipped into a maroon bodysuit. Enough said.
- Down to Earth (2001) 5
After dying before his time, aspiring comic Chris Rock is reincarnated as a wealthy businessman.
- End of Days (1999) 5
Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger, pyrotechnics, and CGI.
- Fantastic Four (2005) 5
Exposure to cosmic radiation creates superhero scientists: Mr. Fantastic, Human Torch, Thing, and Jessica Alba.
- Final Destination (2000) 5
It begins with a plane crash and demonstrates that you can't cheat predestined death. Much.
- Final Destination 2 (2003) 5
Ali Larter is back on Death's path of destruction. Features gruesome accidents galore.
- Home (2015) 5
Adorable cuttlefish-like aliens attack Earth, then learn to love Rihanna's music. I guess? Zany, underdeveloped.
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) 5
A live-action remake of the Dr. Seuss book, starring Jim Carrey and cheerfully crass consumerism.
- Joe's Apartment (1996) 5
Joe discovers he shares his run-down New York apartment with thousands of singing, dancing cockroaches.
- Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) 5
Brendan Fraser travels to Iceland looking for Verne's lost subterranean world. Turn off your brain.
- Last Days of the World, The (2011) 5
A bored Japanese teenager learns that Earth will be destroyed. Surreal, kinky and borderline exploitative.
- League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The (2003) 5
In an alternate Victorian Age world, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, and Dr. Jekyll join forces.
- Little Nicky (2000) 5
Adam Sandler is one of Satan's sons. Patricia Arquette's elastic underwear-band saves her from Hell.
- One and Two (2015) 5
Siblings with teleportation powers live with their abusive father on an isolated Mennonite-like farmstead. WTF.
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) 5
This Disney pirate saga is worse than its predecessor (again). Yo-ho-horribly incoherent. Franchise over yet?
- Practical Magic (1998) 5
Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are cursed sisters with a hereditary gift for practical magic.
- Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) 5
A live-action video game featuring a special dagger that can reverse time. Disposable Bruckheimer cinema.
- Race to Witch Mountain (2009) 5
Good, family-friendly Disney fun that damages your will to live. Spectacularly bland and poorly written.
- Saiyûki Vol. 1: The Journey Begins (2003) 5
A Dragonball Z-like anime adventure of four heroes traveling West to confront a powerful demon.
- Spider-Man 3 (2007) 5
Boring/incoherent/awkward for 90 minutes, then three minutes of cool, then Venom and the climactic battle.
- Spirit, The (2008) 5
Frank Miller's self-aware film noir is gorgeous, vapid, overacted and emotionless. Based on Eisner's comics.
- Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 5
Terribly written dialogue combined with expensive special effects. Jar Jar Binks is unbelievably annoying.
- Sucker Punch (2011) 5
Surreal, masturbatory fantasy. Cabaret dancers with guns battle samurai, steampunk Nazis, orcs, dragons and robots.
- Underworld (2003) 5
Aristocratic vampire warrior Kate Beckinsale battles werewolf street-thugs in some gothic city. Silly as hell.
- What Dreams May Come (1998) 5
Fantastic visuals and lots of death. Robin Williams tries to track down his wife's soul.
- 10,000 BC (2008) CRAP
Anti-visionary Roland Emmerich directs this dumb prehistoric epic. It's dull, preposterous and sanitized for kids.
- 13 Seconds (2004) CRAP
I was cost-effectively bored by this cliché-ridden indie splatter film. Unbearably amateurish and uncreepy.
- Batman & Robin (1997) CRAP
Batman George Clooney, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone starred in this contrived, colossal waste.
- Day Without a Mexican, A (2004) CRAP
California's entire Hispanic population vanishes into pink fog. Satirical premise is thoroughly beaten to death.
- Eragon (2006) CRAP
A bad movie about dragons, dragon riders, a Shade's dark magic and evil King Galbatorix.
- Flubber (1997) CRAP
This remake stars absent-minded professor Robin Williams who creates a rubber-like super-bouncy substance.
- Just Like Heaven (2005) CRAP
Reese Witherspoon, in spirit form, inhabits architect Mark Ruffalo's apartment in this formulaic romantic comedy.
- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) CRAP
Pointless and dull, with lame CGI. As if artifact-collector Angelina Jolie needed extra bra padding.
- Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) CRAP
Angelina Jolie is searching for Pandora's box. Alas, beauty and special effects don't equal quality.
- Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) CRAP
Bridgette Wilson was a much better Sonya Blade. The dialogue was likely written by monkeys.
- Scooby-Doo (2002) CRAP
Matthew Lillard's Shaggy impression is great, but the rest of this live-action adaptation is useless.
- Spawn (1997) CRAP
A killed mercenary returns to walk the Earth after making deal with the devil.
- Spice World (1997) CRAP
This plotless gibberish about the Spice Girls phenomenon is not bad enough to be good.
- Tad the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas (2017) CRAP
An awkward explorer, with Peruvian mummy sidekick, versus a millionaire looking for King Midas' necklace.
- Underworld: Evolution (2006) CRAP
Acting-challenged vampire Kate Beckinsale is still battling werewolves, but now with extra CGI incoherence.
Fantasy Films (1996-2018)Search returned all fantasy movies out of 1585 total rated films.
FROM BAD TO WORSE
Statistical ratings distribution of these 249 films (15.7% of total rated films):
With enough films included, it usually approximates a bell curve with a mean near 6.5...
(especially when considering that CRAP is 0-4 combined).
Average rating for these 249 films: 7.
Do you have any movie recommendations? Perhaps you have a complaint to file about the film ratings or 15-word reviews? Ladies and gentleman, one and all, feel free to air your grievances! There's no need to wait until the annual Festivus celebration. Take this opportunity to share.
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