Movie Ratings & Reviews
Last film added: December 16, 2018. There are currently 1603 films in the database (since 1996).
- 200 Cigarettes (1999) 5
Gaby Hoffmann's Brooklyn accent was great. But then you have the Affleck brothers.
- 2012 (2009) 5
So soulless and insulting that we don't care about billions dying in the global cataclysm.
- Æon Flux (2005) 5
Charlize Theron is a stunning, athletic heroine. But they've destroyed the meaning of the series.
- After.Life (2010) 5
Christina Ricci is constantly naked in this pretentious horror film featuring a creepy funeral director.
- Alice in Wonderland (2010) 5
Tim Burton took a story I love, stripped out the allegories and added CGI. Sigh.
- All I Wanna Do (1998) 5
It's 1963 and Kirsten Dunst, Gaby Hoffmann, and Rachael Leigh Cook are pissed-off schoolgirls.
- Amityville Horror, The (2005) 5
While overproduced and derivative, this horror remake starring Ryan Reynolds exceeded my expectations.
- American Pie 2 (2001) 5
The sequel to the famous prom night of sexual misadventure. Eugene Levy is still brilliant.
- Animal Factory (2000) 5
How to become a hardened criminal in prison. Willem Dafoe mentors young Edward Furlong.
- Apt Pupil (1998) 5
A boy blackmails neighbor Ian McKellen after suspecting him to be a Nazi war criminal.
- At First Sight (1999) 5
Girlfriend Mira Sorvino encourages blind Val Kilmer to have an operation to regain his sight.
- August Rush (2007) 5
An orphaned musical prodigy uses his gift to help find his birth parents. Overtly sentimental.
- Bad Company (2002) 5
Cliché-ridden but mildly amusing Chris Rock action movie, courtesy of Jerry Bruckheimer.
- BASEketball (1998) 5
Trey Parker and Matt Stone combine basketball-shooting skills with baseball rules and become pro athletes.
- Be Cool (2005) 5
The entire premise involves having John Travolta and Uma Thurman reprise their Pulp Fiction dance.
- Bedazzled (2000) 5
Brendan Fraser sells his soul to the Devil (Elizabeth Hurley) for seven wishes. Mindless remake.
- Beyond, The (2018) 5
Faux-documentary of astronauts, wormholes, cybernetics, alien life. Far-fetched pseudoscience. Solid visual effects.
- Birthday Girl (2002) 5
Nicole Kidman arrives in a small town as a bank clerk's Russian mail-order bride.
- Bone Collector, The (1999) 5
Detective Denzel Washington and street cop Angelina Jolie track down a serial killer in Manhattan.
- Born of Hope (2009) 5
Kate Madison's Lord of the Rings prequel, based on Tolkien's appendix paragraphs. Decent low-budget effort.
- Bounce (2000) 5
Ben Affleck switches plane tickets with a man. The plane crashes. He meets Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Brokedown Palace (1999) 5
Claire Danes and Kate Beckinsale are arrested for smuggling drugs while vacationing in Thailand.
- Bruce Almighty (2003) 5
Reporter Jim Carrey is given almighty powers to teach him how difficult God's job is.
- Chronicles of Riddick, The (2004) 5
Five years after Pitch Black, wanted criminal Riddick arrives on a new planet. Weak script.
- City of Angels (1998) 5
Celestial duty or earthly love? Will angel Nicolas Cage become human for Meg Ryan? Sappy!
- Cloverfield Paradox, The (2018) 5
Absurd, unstable jumble of sci-fi space horror that connects to the previous two Cloverfield movies.
- Crank 2: High Voltage (2009) 5
Chev Chelios is back in an even more random and intentionally absurd movie. Insane action.
- Crow: City of Angels, The (1996) 5
The spirit of the Crow resurrects another man seeking revenge for his son's murder.
- Cube 2: Hypercube (2002) 5
Bizarre, nonsensical sequel packed with bad dialogue/acting. Devoid of Cube's existentialism and simplicity.
- Daredevil (2003) 5
Ben Affleck, who can't act, zipped into a maroon bodysuit. Enough said.
- Deep Blue Sea (1999) 5
To cure Alzheimer's disease, scientists genetically engineer sharks with deadly intelligence. What could go wrong?
- Delirium (2018) 5
Topher Grace, recently released from a mental institute, inherits his father's mansion. Haunted? Or psychosis?
- Disturbing Behavior (1998) 5
Why are these teenagers such perfect upstanding citizens? Katie Holmes has a sinister explanation.
- Doctor Dolittle (1998) 5
Veterinarian Eddie Murphy talks to the animals and can hear them talk back. Mental institution?
- Double Jeopardy (1999) 5
Paroled Ashley Judd was framed for her husband's murder, but suspects he is still alive.
- Down to Earth (2001) 5
After dying before his time, aspiring comic Chris Rock is reincarnated as a wealthy businessman.
- Due Date (2010) 5
Downey Jr. is forced to hitch a ride with Zach Galifianakis to make it home.
- Duets (2000) 5
Inside the lives of professional karaoke hustlers. Everyone from Gwyneth Paltrow to Huey Lewis sings.
- EdTV (1999) 5
Video store clerk Matthew McConaughey agrees to have his life televised 24 hours a day.
- End of Days (1999) 5
Satan visits New York in search of a bride. It's Arnold Schwarzenegger, pyrotechnics, and CGI.
- Entrapment (1999) 5
Agent Catherine Zeta-Jones tries to track down and help capture master art thief Sean Connery.
- Evolution (2001) 5
I kept wishing for the alien life forms to kill David Duchovny and Orlando Jones.
- Excess Baggage (1997) 5
Alicia Silverstone fakes her own car-trunk kidnapping in order to attract her wealthy father's attention.
- Extinction (2018) 5
A father is plagued by nightmares of a deadly alien invasion. But there's a twist.
- Fantastic Four (2005) 5
Exposure to cosmic radiation creates superhero scientists: Mr. Fantastic, Human Torch, Thing, and Jessica Alba.
- FDR: American Badass! (2012) 5
As expected, the two-minute trailer was funnier than the movie. Crude/dumb humor, with Nazi werewolves.
- Feed (2006) 5
An Internet sex crimes expert investigates feeder-gainer relationships (sexual fetish of the grotesquely obese).
- Final Destination (2000) 5
It begins with a plane crash and demonstrates that you can't cheat predestined death. Much.
- Final Destination 2 (2003) 5
Ali Larter is back on Death's path of destruction. Features gruesome accidents galore.
- Final Destination 3 (2006) 5
Better than the first two. I watched the Rube-Goldberg deaths with amusement. The nudity helped.
- Frequency (2000) 5
A firefighter receives future-sent communications via a ham radio and some silly fluke involving sunspots.
- Guardian Brothers, The (2017) 5
The spirit world is authoritarian and small-minded. The godless human world has tasty-looking Chinese soup.
- Girl from Monday, The (2005) 5
Citizens have become property traded on the stock exchange, but aliens are supporting the resistance.
- Glitch in the Grid (2011) 5
Three artists find spiritual renewal in this imaginative but self-indulgent film by the Leiser Brothers.
- Gnome Alone (2017) 5
Help garden gnomes battle the Troggs and save the world? Or befriend wicked teenage girls?
- Gone in Sixty Seconds (2000) 5
Nicolas Cage and Angelina Jolie have steal to 50 exotic cars in one night.
- Gun Shy (2000) 5
Undercover DEA agent Liam Neeson almost gets killed. He begins attending group therapy for support.
- Halo Legends (2010) 5
Collection of seven Halo stories. Starts out heavy-handedly and badly animated, but eventually gets better.
- Happy Gilmore (1996) 5
Rejected hockey player Adam Sandler becomes an unlikely golf star to save his grandmother's house.
- Harvard Man (2001) 5
Mixes basketball and crime with sexual and chemical experimentation. And cheerleader Sarah Michelle Gellar.
- Hellevator: The Bottled Fools (2005) 5
Had me with the underground dystopia and telepaths, lost me with the overdone elevator bloodbath.
- Home (2015) 5
Adorable cuttlefish-like aliens attack Earth, then learn to love Rihanna's music. I guess? Zany, underdeveloped.
- Home Fries (1998) 5
Brothers Luke Wilson and Jake Busey want pregnant Drew Barrymore for very different reasons. Dumb.
- Hope Floats (1998) 5
Former beauty queen Sandra Bullock falls on hard times and returns to her small hometown.
- Host, The (2013) 5
From the writer of Twilight comes a poorly structured alien-human romance, presumably for adolescent girls.
- Hostel (2005) 5
Hedonism and bare breasts mixed with horrific gore, grisly torture, and the slandering of Slovakia.
- How It Ends (2018) 5
After an apocalyptic event, a man travels west toward Seattle. How it ends is stupidly.
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) 5
A live-action remake of the Dr. Seuss book, starring Jim Carrey and cheerfully crass consumerism.
- How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003) 5
Kate Hudson is completely insane. Our love fern! You let it die!
- Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 2, The (2015) 5
The downhill slide concludes. Was almost wishing Katniss would shoot every character with an arrow.
- iBoy (2017) 5
A teen gains superpowers after smartphone fragments enter his brain. Bruv, mind-hacking everything is easy!
- Instinct (1999) 5
Set in a maximum-security prison, psychiatrist Cuba Gooding Jr. examines madman anthropologist Anthony Hopkins.
- Interview, The (2014) 5
Sophomoric Seth Rogen comedy about North Korea/dick jokes. Gained notoriety due to Sony Pictures hack.
- Joe's Apartment (1996) 5
Joe discovers he shares his run-down New York apartment with thousands of singing, dancing cockroaches.
- John Q (2002) 5
Denzel Washington takes the emergency room hostage until doctors agree to perform his son's transplant.
- Journey to the Center of the Earth (2008) 5
Brendan Fraser travels to Iceland looking for Verne's lost subterranean world. Turn off your brain.
- Just Married (2003) 5
Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy are on their honeymoon in Europe. Things go really badly.
- K-19: The Widowmaker (2002) 5
Harrison Ford and Liam Neeson star in this dull tale of a malfunctioning nuclear submarine.
- Kiss the Girls (1997) 5
The first of many mediocre Ashley Judd crime thrillers. This one also stars Morgan Freeman.
- Knowing (2009) 5
A disappointment from Alex Proyas. I was ready for the apocalypse after two long hours.
- Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002) 5
It is an honor having you beat up random people in our city.
- Last Days of the World, The (2011) 5
A bored Japanese teenager learns that Earth will be destroyed. Surreal, kinky and borderline exploitative.
- Last Survivors, The (2015) 5
A teen girl tries to evade masked marauders in drought-stricken, post-apocalyptic Oregon. High body count.
- League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The (2003) 5
In an alternate Victorian Age world, Captain Nemo, Tom Sawyer, and Dr. Jekyll join forces.
- Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) 5
Chris Rock joins the Mel Gibson-led LAPD quartet. The crimes involve immigrant smuggling and counterfeiting.
- Little Nicky (2000) 5
Adam Sandler is one of Satan's sons. Patricia Arquette's elastic underwear-band saves her from Hell.
- Malibu's Most Wanted (2003) 5
A white Senator's son wants to live the hip-hop lifestyle. Don't be hatin'.
- Man with the Iron Fists 2, The (2015) 5
RZA, the kung-fu blacksmith, arrives unceremoniously in an oppressed silver-mining village in feudal China. Fight!
- Martian Child (2007) 5
It's emotional manipulation from Mars. This is K-PAX with a six-year-old instead of Kevin Spacey.
- Men in Black II (2002) 5
A semi-amusing replica of the original popcorn flick. The train-station locker creatures steal the show.
- Metro (1997) 5
Hostage negotiator Eddie Murphy is targeted by an escaped bank robber he once helped imprison.
- Mickey Blue Eyes (1999) 5
English auctioneer Hugh Grant proposes to the daughter of a mafia kingpin, who requires favors.
- Mist, The (2007) 5
A fairly derivative, depressing creature-horror film with too much religious ranting. Final scene is staggering.
- Mod Squad, The (1999) 5
An undercover cop recruits three minor delinquents to bust a drug ring. Stars Claire Danes.
- Murder at 1600 (1997) 5
Washington homicide cop Wesley Snipes and agent Diane Lane investigate murder inside the White House.
- National Treasure (2004) 5
Diane Heidkrueger has been able to capture my attention since her mid-1990s modeling days.
- Number 23, The (2007) 5
Far-fetched but sometimes clever thriller starring Jim Carrey. 23 equals bad numerology and worse directing.
- One and Two (2015) 5
Siblings with teleportation powers live with their abusive father on an isolated Mennonite-like farmstead. WTF.
- Orbiter 9 (2018) 5
An engineer boards a young woman's spaceship, upends her sense of reality. Promising but unfocused.
- Outside Ozona (1998) 5
Oklahoma motorists listening to the same radio station DJ are connected by a serial killer.
- Palmetto (1998) 5
Recently released ex-con Woody Harrelson gets involved in a fake kidnapping scheme that turns real.
- Pandorum (2009) 5
Derivative sci-fi thriller on a spaceship. Crewmembers wake up with no knowledge of their mission.
- Payback (1999) 5
Thief Mel Gibson plots revenge when he is betrayed by his wife and best friend.
- Perfect Murder, A (1998) 5
Remake of Hitchcock's Dial M for Murder, starring millionaire industrialist Michael Douglas and Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Picture Perfect (1997) 5
Successful career woman Jennifer Aniston has an incomplete personal life. What makes the perfect mate?
- Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007) 5
This Disney pirate saga is worse than its predecessor (again). Yo-ho-horribly incoherent. Franchise over yet?
- Planet of the Apes (2001) 5
Tim Burton reimagines the original film, poorly. Absurd plot, bad satire, pirouetting apes, no significance.
- Playing God (1997) 5
Famed surgeon David Duchovny is stripped of his medical license and becomes a criminal doctor.
- Practical Magic (1998) 5
Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman are cursed sisters with a hereditary gift for practical magic.
- Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) 5
A live-action video game featuring a special dagger that can reverse time. Disposable Bruckheimer cinema.
- Race to Witch Mountain (2009) 5
Good, family-friendly Disney fun that damages your will to live. Spectacularly bland and poorly written.
- Reconstruction of William Zero, The (2015) 5
A geneticist with amnesia awakes under the care of his identical twin. Clever, but clumsy.
- Red State (2011) 5
Ugly, preachy Kevin Smith film. The teen horror genre plus fundamentalist religious fervor and violence.
- Remember the Titans (2000) 5
A story of high school racial integration in the early 1970s, starring Denzel Washington.
- Resident Evil (2002) 5
That scene where Milla Jovovich kicks the crap out of undead Dobermans is pretty cool.
- Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004) 5
Skinny white chicks with guns brazenly kick zombie ass while trying to escape Raccoon City.
- Road Trip (2000) 5
Four college friends take a road trip to retrieve a mistakenly mailed sex tape. Crass.
- Ruins, The (2008) 5
Bone-crunching gore as American tourists learn the horrors of sightseeing in the forbidding Mexican jungle.
- Rush Hour 2 (2001) 5
Jackie Chan and comedian Chris Tucker get involved in a Hong Kong counterfeit money scam.
- Saiyûki Vol. 1: The Journey Begins (2003) 5
A Dragonball Z-like anime adventure of four heroes traveling West to confront a powerful demon.
- Saving Private Perez (2011) 5
A Mexican crime lord plans to invade Iraq to rescue his brother. Ridiculous, wacky violence.
- Saw II (2005) 5
Jigsaw forces another round of kidnapped people to play survival games in medieval torture chambers.
- Scary Movie (2000) 5
A spoof of dozens of movies, from Scream to American Beauty to the Sixth Sense.
- Scream 2 (1997) 5
A copycat killer begins acting out a real-life sequel. Neve Campbell and Courteney Cox scream!
- She's All That (1999) 5
A Pygmalion remake. Freddie Prinze Jr. bets he can make Rachael Leigh Cook prom queen.
- Sleeping Dogs Lie (2005) 5
A short, low-budget film. Maynard James Keenan was charming, but Audioslave's Brad Wilk can't act.
- Speed Racer (2008) 5
A hyperfrenetic explosion of sound and color in the form of Car-Fu. It's marginally watchable.
- Spider-Man 3 (2007) 5
Boring/incoherent/awkward for 90 minutes, then three minutes of cool, then Venom and the climactic battle.
- Spirit, The (2008) 5
Frank Miller's self-aware film noir is gorgeous, vapid, overacted and emotionless. Based on Eisner's comics.
- Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) 5
Terribly written dialogue combined with expensive special effects. Jar Jar Binks is unbelievably annoying.
- Starship Troopers (1997) 5
Future humans battle giant alien bugs in a fight for survival, with nude co-ed showers.
- Stay Alive (2006) 5
A videogame kills players in the real world. It's gory CGI fun featuring Samaire Armstrong.
- Stepmom (1998) 5
Julia Roberts and Susan Sarandon star in a film of cheap sentiment and fatal illness.
- Step Brothers (2008) 5
Mildly amusing but so stupid. Juvenile bickering and pouting from 40-year-old adolescents Ferrell and Reilly.
- Stuck (2008) 5
The callous aftermath of a hit-and-run. I winced at the bad acting and grisly suffering.
- Sucker Punch (2011) 5
Surreal, masturbatory fantasy. Cabaret dancers with guns battle samurai, steampunk Nazis, orcs, dragons and robots.
- Superstorm (2007) 5
Scientists attempt to divert or weaken a Miami-bound hurricane using cloud seeding. A miniseries docudrama.
- Surrogates (2009) 5
Soulless industrial entertainment. Most humans live in isolation and interact entirely via glamorous surrogate robots.
- Surveillance (2009) 5
A crude, unsettling thriller by Jennifer Lynch. It's a disappointment, but Bill Pullman is great.
- Titan A.E. (2000) 5
In 3028, cartoon Earth prepares for an attack by the Drej, a vicious alien race.
- Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) 5
Unrelenting sound and fury. I appreciated the alternate Apollo and Chernobyl histories. But it's vapid.
- Trauma (2004) 5
Colin Firth's fragmented reality is haunted by death, apparitions, blood, ants, and Mena Suvari's vacuity.
- Underworld (2003) 5
Aristocratic vampire warrior Kate Beckinsale battles werewolf street-thugs in some gothic city. Silly as hell.
- U.S. Marshals (1998) 5
This time Chief Deputy Marshal Tommy Lee Jones isn't chasing fugitive Harrison Ford.
- Urban Legend (1998) 5
A decent slasher movie. Pluses: Alicia Witt and Rebecca Gayheart. Big minus: Tara Reid.
- Varsity Blues (1999) 5
James Van Der Beek stars as a high-school quarterback. Amy Smart wears a whipped-cream bikini.
- What Dreams May Come (1998) 5
Fantastic visuals and lots of death. Robin Williams tries to track down his wife's soul.
- What Just Happened (2008) 5
Two weeks in the life of big-time Hollywood producer Robert De Niro. Anxious, high-stakes triviality.
- Wild Things (1998) 5
Neve Campbell and Denise Richards make out in a swimming pool. And other stuff happens.
- xXx (2002) 5
Extreme-sports athlete Vin Diesel blows a lot of shit up. Stunts and gadgets replace plot.
- You've Got Mail (1998) 5
I liked this Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan movie better when it was called Sleepless in Seattle.
- Zoolander (2001) 5
Ben Stiller wonders if there's more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking.
Rated 5 out of 10Search returned all films with a rating of 5 out of 1603 total films.
Statistical ratings distribution of these 152 films (9.5% of total rated films):
With enough films included, it usually approximates a bell curve with a mean near 6.5...
(especially when considering that CRAP is 0-4 combined).
Average rating for these 152 films: 5.
Do you have any movie recommendations? Perhaps you have a complaint to file about the film ratings or 15-word reviews? Ladies and gentleman, one and all, feel free to air your grievances! There's no need to wait until the annual Festivus celebration. Take this opportunity to share.
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