Movie Ratings & Reviews
Last film added: December 16, 2018. There are currently 1603 films in the database (since 1996).
- 10,000 BC (2008) CRAP
Anti-visionary Roland Emmerich directs this dumb prehistoric epic. It's dull, preposterous and sanitized for kids.
- 13 Seconds (2004) CRAP
I was cost-effectively bored by this cliché-ridden indie splatter film. Unbearably amateurish and uncreepy.
- 54 (1998) CRAP
A story about famous 1970s disco nightclub Studio 54, starring Ryan Phillippe and Salma Hayek.
- 88 Minutes (2008) CRAP
Features ludicrous, unthrilling plot twists, perky young women and the famous forensic psychiatrist Al Pacino.
- American Werewolf in Paris, An (1997) CRAP
At the Eiffel Tower an American tourist meets Julie Delpy, who possesses a werewolf serum.
- Anaconda (1997) CRAP
Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube. In the Amazon. With a giant CGI snake. Good times.
- Animal, The (2001) CRAP
This crude 84-minute Rob Schneider disaster might have been an amusing Saturday Night Live skit.
- Armageddon (1998) CRAP
A deep-core drilling team pretends to be astronauts in this Jerry Bruckheimer popcorn flick.
- Astronaut's Wife, The (1999) CRAP
Astronaut Johnny Depp and Charlize Theron star in this stupid update of Rosemary's Baby.
- Avengers, The (1998) CRAP
There was nothing Uma Thurman could do to save this ill-fated remake.
- Bad Teacher (2011) CRAP
Gold digger Cameron Diaz is a terrible junior high teacher who wants breast-implant surgery. Misanthropic.
- Balls of Fury (2007) CRAP
Horrendously unfunny comedy mixes Ping-Pong, kung fu and sophomoric jokes with a secret FBI mission.
- Batman & Robin (1997) CRAP
Batman George Clooney, Uma Thurman and Alicia Silverstone starred in this contrived, colossal waste.
- Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000 (2000) CRAP
In the year 3000, an alien race tries to enslave humanity. Scientologist John Travolta presides.
- Beverly Hills Ninja (1997) CRAP
Goofy and clumsy Chris Farley was raised by a clan of Ninja warriors.
- Bio-Dome (1996) CRAP
Pauly Shore. Moronic best friends get themselves locked inside the Bio-Dome science experiment. Kill me.
- Bordello of Blood (1996) CRAP
Another Cryptkeeper movie. This time a funeral parlor moonlights as a vampire whorehouse. Angie Everhart!
- Bride Wars (2009) CRAP
Was subjected to this loathsome, soul-crushingly shallow piece while traveling, almost killed self. Fuck this.
- Charlie's Angels (2000) CRAP
Cameron, Drew and Lucy Liu encourage objectification by the male gaze and call it liberation.
- Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle (2003) CRAP
Bimbo agents Cameron, Drew and Lucy Liu are back! With sparkly dirtbikes and eye-glitter!
- C.O.G. (2013) CRAP
A self-absorbed graduate tries living the simple life in Oregon, finds self-hatred through religion? Pointless garbage.
- Committed (2000) CRAP
Adorable nitwit Heather Graham follows her panicked husband across the country. Attempted hilarity ensues.
- Con Air (1997) CRAP
Can Nicolas Cage save a hijacked transport plane? Connect the mind-numbing dots between Bruckheimer pyrotechnics.
- Contaminated Man, The (2000) CRAP
Natascha McElhone stars in this film about a Hungarian man infected with a deadly pathogen.
- Corky Romano (2001) CRAP
Bumbling idiot Chris Kattan tries to infiltrate the local FBI to destroy gang-related racketeering evidence.
- Coyote Ugly (2000) CRAP
Jerry Bruckheimer presents Tyra Banks's breasts and some blonde chick with an annoying voice.
- Cruel Intentions (1999) CRAP
Sarah Michelle Gellar is cute, but do yourself a favor and watch Dangerous Liaisons instead.
- Curve, The (1998) CRAP
Matthew Lillard and a friend kill their roommate and make it look like a suicide.
- Date Movie (2006) CRAP
Two Scary Movie screenwriters spoof the romantic comedy genre to death. Alyson Hannigan stars. Lame.
- Day Without a Mexican, A (2004) CRAP
California's entire Hispanic population vanishes into pink fog. Satirical premise is thoroughly beaten to death.
- Dead Man on Campus (1998) CRAP
Flunking college students Tom Everett Scott and Mark-Paul Gosselaar try to find a suicidal roommate.
- Deep Rising (1998) CRAP
A giant squid attacks a luxurious cruise ship. At least jewel-thief Famke Janssen doesn't suck.
- Desire (2017) CRAP
Two estranged sisters reunite at a wedding. Lust destroys their lives again. Boring yet poetic.
- Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) CRAP
Aquarium-cleaner Rob Schneider becomes a gigolo after being mistaken for one. It's juvenile vuglar fun.
- Dirty Work (1998) CRAP
In desperate need of money, Norm MacDonald opens a revenge-for-hire service. Worthless unfunny slapstick.
- Disappointments Room, The (2016) CRAP
Disappointment was in the title, so I can't say I wasn't warned. Incoherent, spooky nonsense.
- Down to You (2000) CRAP
Freddie Prinze Jr. sucks. Julia Stiles sucks. Mutually self-absorbed, together they suck even more.
- Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) CRAP
A moronic Minnesota beauty pageant, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denise Richards, Ellen Barkin and Kirstie Alley.
- Drowning Mona (2000) CRAP
A woman drives a car into the river. Everyone in town is a murder suspect.
- Dunston Checks In (1996) CRAP
Concierge Jason Alexander works in a luxury hotel. Enter a friendly, jewel-thief orangutan. Silly hijinx!
- Emoji Movie, The (2017) CRAP
They turned a smartphone messaging app into a movie? I was nihilistically curious. WEARY. GRIMACING.
- Epic Movie (2007) CRAP
Following the unwatchable Date Movie, now these hacks imitate mega-blockbusters. I enjoyed Jayma Mays.
- Eragon (2006) CRAP
A bad movie about dragons, dragon riders, a Shade's dark magic and evil King Galbatorix.
- Event Horizon (1997) CRAP
In 2047, Laurence Fishburne captains a questionable crew of astronauts prone to hallucinations and death.
- Eye of the Beholder (1999) CRAP
A misogynistic film. British intelligence agent Ewan McGregor is obsessed with beautiful killer Ashley Judd.
- Failure to Launch (2006) CRAP
Matthew McConaughey's parents set him up with Sarah Jessica Parker so he'll finally move out.
- Falling Sky (1998) CRAP
Depressing movie set in Las Vegas about alcoholic mother Karen Allen and daughter Brittany Murphy.
- FearDotCom (2002) CRAP
People are dying after logging on to a website. Natascha McElhone's talent is wasted.
- Flubber (1997) CRAP
This remake stars absent-minded professor Robin Williams who creates a rubber-like super-bouncy substance.
- Fools Rush In (1997) CRAP
A formulaic romantic comedy Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek. Salma deserved a better costar.
- Freddy vs. Jason (2003) CRAP
Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees return to terrorize teenagers, and each other. Boring and stupid.
- Friday the 13th (2009) CRAP
Boobs, beer and pot. The characters are so annoying that you wish they'd die faster.
- Gamer (2009) CRAP
Brainless, ultraviolent sci-fi mishmash of bad writing, bad acting, jerky editing, digital effects and boobs.
- Ghosts of Mars (2001) CRAP
Unintentional comedy, starring Natasha Henstridge and Ice Cube, in which Mars colonists become possessed.
- Godzilla (1998) CRAP
A giant Japanese-inspired, American-ruined CGI spectacle of capitalistic entertainment.
- Half Baked (1998) CRAP
Get me an avocado, an ice pick, and my snorkel. I've made bongs with less.
- Hard Rain (1998) CRAP
I could not suspend my disbelief. This flood-ravaged trainwreck of a thriller stars Morgan Freeman.
- Haunting, The (1999) CRAP
Watch the 1963 original instead. They ruined this version with blatantly unspooky special effects.
- Here on Earth (2000) CRAP
The presence of Leelee Sobieski is the only conceivable reason to contemplate watching this.
- Hollow Man (2000) CRAP
Who would you rape or kill if you could turn invisible? This is boringly dumb.
- Home Alone 3 (1997) CRAP
Macaulay Culkin wasn't in this masterful piece of work, but a young Scarlett Johansson was.
- Hot Chick, The (2002) CRAP
An attractive but mean-spirited girl becomes trapped in Rob Schneider's body. Stupid but mildly amusing.
- House on Haunted Hill (1999) CRAP
Want to earn a million dollars? Just stay alive, all night. A bad remake.
- Hush (1998) CRAP
Mother-in-law Jessica Lange is batshit crazy. Pregnant Gwyneth Paltrow should be afraid, very afraid.
- I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) CRAP
Stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. It's craptastic slasher fun!
- I Still Know What You Did Last Summer (1998) CRAP
Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts and Freddie Prinze Jr. are back in this gory slasher sequel.
- Idle Hands (1999) CRAP
A boy's right hand becomes murderously possessed. Jessica Alba may prevent you from killing yourself.
- Impostor (2002) CRAP
A Philip K. Dick adaptation gone wrong. Is engineer Gary Sinise actually an alien android?
- In Dreams (1999) CRAP
Annette Bening is endangered by apples in this silly thriller. Also stars Robert Downey Jr.
- Inspector Gadget (1999) CRAP
Security guard Matthew Broderick is transformed into a cybernetic police officer in this adapted cartoon.
- Jawbreaker (1999) CRAP
Popular highschoolers Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart and Julie Benz accidentally kill the prom queen.
- Just Like Heaven (2005) CRAP
Reese Witherspoon, in spirit form, inhabits architect Mark Ruffalo's apartment in this formulaic romantic comedy.
- Josie and the Pussycats (2001) CRAP
Rachael Leigh Cook, Tara Reid and Rosario Dawson star in this annoying pop-music satire.
- Knockaround Guys (2001) CRAP
A derivative mobster movie starring Vin Diesel, Seth Green and Barry Pepper.
- Lady Ninja Kaede 2 (2009) CRAP
Why? Bizarre, terrible Japanese erotica. Lady ninja's mission is to destroy an Edo sex cult.
- Lake Placid (1999) CRAP
Why couldn't the 30-foot crocodile have eaten everyone? At least it's only 82 minutes long.
- Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) CRAP
Pointless and dull, with lame CGI. As if artifact-collector Angelina Jolie needed extra bra padding.
- Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003) CRAP
Angelina Jolie is searching for Pandora's box. Alas, beauty and special effects don't equal quality.
- Legally Blonde (2001) CRAP
Looking to commit suicide? Reese Witherspoon can help that thought process along.
- Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003) CRAP
Soul-crushingly shallow materialism mixed with plucky good-heartedness. I will now light myself on fire.
- Loser (2000) CRAP
Irritating college student Jason Biggs falls in love with Mena Suvari.
- Lost in Space (1998) CRAP
Danger Will Robinson! You are Earth's only hope. But your space movie sucks, a lot.
- Ma Mère (2005) CRAP
Dark, French exercise of reckless, unlikable characters finding pleasure in incest and depravity. Rotten, pointless.
- Macbeth (2007) CRAP
Bad acting with laser-sighted guns, drugs and tattooed naked girls. A straight retelling of Shakespeare.
- Meet the Spartans (2008) CRAP
Friedberg and Seltzer reinforce their status as truly unparalleled hacks of the spoof genre. Terrible.
- Mercury Rising (1998) CRAP
FBI agent Bruce Willis protects an autistic boy who has deciphered a sophisticated cryptographic system.
- Message in a Bottle (1999) CRAP
Reasons to avoid this: Kevin Costner, manipulative sentimentality, depressing ending, too long, Kevin Costner.
- Miss Congeniality (2000) CRAP
Annoying FBI agent Sandra Bullock goes undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant.
- Mission to Mars (2000) CRAP
A boringly sentimental movie about a Mars Recovery Mission. Stars Gary Sinise and Tim Robbins.
- Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997) CRAP
Bridgette Wilson was a much better Sonya Blade. The dialogue was likely written by monkeys.
- New Guy, The (2002) CRAP
A crude high-school movie about reinventing yourself. Zooey Deschanel could not redeem its incoherence.
- New Rose Hotel (1999) CRAP
Incoherent, completely worthless adaptation of a William Gibson story. An insufferable, redundant waste of time.
- National Lampoon's Barely Legal (2003) CRAP
Three high school guys attempt to make a porno movie. Vic Ramalot takes it personally.
- Not Another Teen Movie (2001) CRAP
A tasteless spoof of bad teen-movie clichés. Chock full of dick jokes and scatological humor.
- Paradox (2018) CRAP
Daryl Hannah directs outlaw Neil Young in an experimental concert film of supernatural frontier nonsense.
- Patch Adams (1998) CRAP
Robin Williams stars in this emotionally manipulative story about the power of laughter as medicine.
- Pearl Harbor (2001) CRAP
Jerry Bruckheimer presents Ben Affleck. And Kate Beckinsale. Trying to act. Together.
- Poison Ivy 3: The New Seduction (1997) CRAP
Simplistic thriller starring sinister seductress Jaime Pressly. Gratuitous nudity and irrational vengeance.
- Prey (2007) CRAP
A poorly written movie about Americans in Africa who are stalked by lions. Embarrassingly bad.
- P.S. I Love You (2007) CRAP
Hilary Swank was miscast among sitcom-quality sentimental actors where everyone is trying to be cute.
- Random Hearts (1999) CRAP
Bereavement becomes romance for Harrison Ford and Kristin Scott Thomas in this dull Hollywood cliché.
- Red Planet (2000) CRAP
Val Kilmer and Carrie-Anne Moss are on Mars in 2050, trying to save humanity.
- Reindeer Games (2000) CRAP
A violent, preposterous bellyflop of a heist thriller. Stars Ben Affleck and Charlize Theron.
- Return, The (2006) CRAP
Sarah Michelle Gellar is supernaturally drawn to an old farmhouse where a murder took place.
- Runaway Bride (1999) CRAP
Julia Roberts and Richard Gere try to capitalize on Pretty Woman's success. I nearly puked.
- Say It Isn't So (2001) CRAP
I would love to say this Heather Graham movie wasn't so. And get a refund.
- Scooby-Doo (2002) CRAP
Matthew Lillard's Shaggy impression is great, but the rest of this live-action adaptation is useless.
- Scream 3 (2000) CRAP
Neve Campbell and David Arquette return for the final chapter of this slasher trilogy.
- S. Darko (2009) CRAP
Cash-grab follow-up to Donnie Darko. Huge plot holes and weak characters, but exceeded worst expectations.
- Sharknado (2013) CRAP
Was idiotically curious about the magnitude of this TV-movie's absurdity. It's a bloody, bad-CGI trainwreck.
- Signs (2002) CRAP
M. Night Shyamalan and Mel Gibson really crapped the bed with this lame alien-invasion movie.
- Slackers (2002) CRAP
Not even Jason Schwartzman can save this utterly detestable gross-out comedy. Painfully unfunny.
- Spawn (1997) CRAP
A killed mercenary returns to walk the Earth after making deal with the devil.
- Species II (1998) CRAP
American astronauts land on Mars. Even Natasha Henstridge's nudity can't redeem this lame sci-fi bloodbath.
- Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) CRAP
Who would have thought Sandra Bullock would miss Keanu Reeves so much.
- Sphere (1998) CRAP
An underwater sci-fi thriller with Dustin Hoffman and Samuel L. Jackson that somehow really sucks.
- Spice World (1997) CRAP
This plotless gibberish about the Spice Girls phenomenon is not bad enough to be good.
- Stranded (2003) CRAP
Astronauts crash onto the surface of Mars. Intriguing concept, but bad science and idiotic script.
- Stupids, The (1996) CRAP
Incredibly dimwitted Tom Arnold unknowingly blunders into an illegal weapons deal with his stupid family.
- Summer Catch (2001) CRAP
Watching Freddie Prinze Jr. is painful, but Jessica Biel's wet t-shirt almost made it bearable.
- Supernova (2000) CRAP
A deep-space search and rescue mission that, like the film, goes horribly wrong.
- Sweet Home Alabama (2002) CRAP
I'm sorry, but Reese Witherspoon made me want to skewer my temples.
- Sweetest Thing, The (2002) CRAP
A disposable saccharine comedy about searching for love, starring Cameron Diaz and Christina Applegate.
- Swimfan (2002) CRAP
My dislike for Erika Christensen didn't help me enjoy this Fatal Attraction rip-off.
- Tad the Lost Explorer and the Secret of King Midas (2017) CRAP
An awkward explorer, with Peruvian mummy sidekick, versus a millionaire looking for King Midas' necklace.
- Takers (2010) CRAP
Stylish but clichéd, with hyperactive camera work. Seasoned bank robbers go after an armored car.
- Tart (2001) CRAP
Dominique Swain and Bijou Phillips are wealthy troubled friends at a private school in Manhattan.
- Three to Tango (1999) CRAP
Sitcom-quality actors Matthew Perry and Neve Campbell succeed in little more than furthering sexual stereotypes.
- Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) CRAP
A tedious and loathsome sequence of explosions. Despite childhood nostalgia, I hoped everyone might die.
- Tuxedo, The (2002) CRAP
Chauffer Jackie Chan wears a special gadget-laden tuxedo. Jennifer Love Hewitt is also present.
- Underworld: Evolution (2006) CRAP
Acting-challenged vampire Kate Beckinsale is still battling werewolves, but now with extra CGI incoherence.
- Van Wilder (2002) CRAP
Tara Reid and Ryan Reynolds are incapable of intelligent conversation, but let's not fault Ryan.
- Vegas Vacation (1997) CRAP
This completely uninspired slapstick sequel sends Chevy Chase and Beverly D'Angelo to Las Vegas.
- Very Bad Things (1998) CRAP
A dark comedy about the consequences of a prostitute's death during a Vegas bachelor party.
- Virus (1999) CRAP
Jamie Lee Curtis fights an electromagnetic alien lifeform. It's a nicely polished turd.
- Waterboy, The (1998) CRAP
Frustrated waterboy Adam Sandler shows a talent for tackling football players in this dumb movie.
- Where the Heart Is (2000) CRAP
Pregnant Natalie Portman is abandoned at an Oklahoma Wal-Mart. Ashley Judd needs to be spayed.
- White Noise (2005) CRAP
A crummy paranormal movie, but watch the DVD's cool special features about Electronic Voice Phenomena.
- Wild Girl Waltz (2013) CRAP
I want to support indie films, but this was almost unwatchable. Painful acting, unlikable characters.
- Wild Wild West (1999) CRAP
Stars gunslinger Will Smith and Salma Hayek. Features a giant steam-powered spider, with Gatling guns.
- Wrong Cops (2013) CRAP
Aggressively self-conscious inanity via wild, musical antics of a moronic, corrupt police force. WTF, Dupieux.
- Year One (2009) CRAP
Even though Jack Black and Michael Cera are naturally hilarious, this plotless movie doesn't work.
Rated CRAP out of 10Search returned all films with a rating of CRAP out of 1603 total films.
FROM BAD TO WORSE
Statistical ratings distribution of these 142 films (8.9% of total rated films):
With enough films included, it usually approximates a bell curve with a mean near 6.5...
(especially when considering that CRAP is 0-4 combined).
Average rating for these 142 films: 2.5.
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